Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
I have been NC since Dec. 8th...not even a month. On December 8th I sent a text telling him that I would not be contacting him again for any reason. I advised him that if he needed anything concerning the building (we are in a lease together for a fitness business. I'm the instructor :)) that he should contact the leasing manager. He has not been paying his part of the bills including the rent. I also deleted and blocked all of his family and any close friends. Consequently, the ex-wife and I have been chatting and comparing notes and comforting each other ( she's been doing more of the comforting) through our healing. I mentioned this to him in a previous text.
On Dec. 18th I , had a 2hour event planned. Before the event, he came by and took the speakers, a lock off of the storage closet, some extension cords and 3 yoga mats....yes, yoga mats, smh. Seems like he took everything that he thought was his. It actually made me happy...it meant he was gone and wouldn't be back. Then last Wednesday, the ex wife tells me that he calls her to ask about ME! Huh?! She says he asks what she told me about their marriage and so on. then last Thursday he shows up during class! He walks in, doesn't speak to anyone and goes into the storage closet. He has NOTHING left in the building and has totally dumped the business. Why did he come?Then he comes out of the closet and walks out. o_O
It seems like he's upping the ante for attention. Has he started hoovering already? Should I be afraid for my safety?
On Dec. 18th I , had a 2hour event planned. Before the event, he came by and took the speakers, a lock off of the storage closet, some extension cords and 3 yoga mats....yes, yoga mats, smh. Seems like he took everything that he thought was his. It actually made me happy...it meant he was gone and wouldn't be back. Then last Wednesday, the ex wife tells me that he calls her to ask about ME! Huh?! She says he asks what she told me about their marriage and so on. then last Thursday he shows up during class! He walks in, doesn't speak to anyone and goes into the storage closet. He has NOTHING left in the building and has totally dumped the business. Why did he come?Then he comes out of the closet and walks out. o_O
It seems like he's upping the ante for attention. Has he started hoovering already? Should I be afraid for my safety?
I would say, if you feel the slightest inkling that you should be afraid for your safety, then you should be. What precautions can you take to ensure your safety? Some ideas may be: getting an extra lock on your door, having extra security at your business for a while, making sure that you do not leave late or leave alone, things like that. Better to be safe than sorry.
It does seem that he is upping the ante for attention. Be careful. Men become most violent towards women in the period after a breakup. This is a dangerous time. Keep yourself safe x
Since this original post, he has been back to the studio. This time the door was locked. He knocked on the door. Then he tried his key. Apparently he had didn't know that I had changed the locks. Then he bangs on the door a little then leaves.
The next morning he calls the leasing mngr. who proceeds to tell him that his lease has been terminated and they allowed me to sign a new lease. I am so excited about the new year and MY OWN BUSINESS (sorry I love the sound of that, LOL) But is it bad that I am actually enjoying him failing at getting back at me or trying to sabotage things for me. I'm hoping that she, the new victim, i getting the results of this. But why do I care. I wanna look into his eyes and laugh. With all the pain he has caused me and my children. All the emotional and financial damage. All the time I devoted and the abuse I took. All the effort I put into loving (really fixing) him. and he could do this?! I am getting so much stronger (i still have my weak days/moments) with time. Tomorrow will be a whole month NC and I just want the jerk to know he didn't break me.
Is that bad? Honestly...
it is a wonderful day tomorrow!
thank you for writing in on your success. take your wings and fly...SOAR!!!
i don't know if you are in danger but it is always good to be extra cautious and to tell your kids to be extra cautious during a break up with a N. if he's dating someone else hopefully he's moved on but you never really know.....eyes wide open....
good for you for persevering!!
Hugs n Healing :)