please don't sit around and wait for money to come before you begin to take care of yourself and your daughter!!

because you have ptsd you OWE it to yourself to get to safety. if you do not you are further traumatizing yourself which is self victimization. and along with that you are exposing your daughter to a bad scene AND inadvertantly abandoning her to a traumatized mother.

you can do this dracaena!!! stand up and we will help you!!!! he is gone, quick......stand up!! dust yourself off, roll up your sleeves, lock arms with your army here and take a step out of the hell you are keeping yourself in. you are capable of improving your ptsd. please don't let it rule your life. that is just sad for you and especially your daughter. you in or out???

lease is almost up. then I can move. looking for a place. I think the community program will help me pay the deposit on a new place now that im considered disabled. but I have to prove that I have the funds to not need them again first. it will be done. I keep talking myself into it. its gonna hurt. and you are right. I do owe it to myself. Ive been blaming myself for being crazy ptsd lady, but I honestly thinks he makes it worse, which makes me a worse mother. I still have anger flashes, but not as bad and the meds are helping. but its always worse when he is stressed out, and my daughter suffers because of it. im only crazy ptsd lady like this when im pushed to it. every once in a while it might happen... because of a trigger or my mom or something catches me of guard and turns me into a mess, but I usually dust off and go on. its so often now. or it was before I started taking pills for it. its not me.

Thank you finny.

PTSD sucks so bad. especially to have it severely like you do. the cornerstone of ptsd is avoidance.

the avoidance creates tremendous anxiety which triggers our ptsd..

youve had to endure enough trauma. take your life back from the lies that you dont deserve better......

Im trying to get better... Do better. I pretty much have a team of counselors right now. Through that ive realized i severely disassociate. The co morbidity my ptsd and health problems is hard because im soooooo fatigued. Which causes more dissassociation. Its hard to not settle. Bot to feel lucky someone is there at all. I actually feel like he loves me because he doesnt actually leave. He says he just wants me to be happy and sometimes he is wonderful and can take all of the anxiety away. It makes me want to be there for him. Makes me want to be understanding of his follies. I am the product of my experience. As is he... But i have to remind myself. Even when i am the biggest mess i can be. I dont say or do the things he does.

On PTSD and Emotional Avoidance:

http://ptsd.about.com/od/symptomsanddiagnosis/a/emotionalavoid.htm

((((hugs)))) to all Petit pois

it's all about you baby!