I'm happy you're getting better, and proud of you!! xx I'm not doing very well but I guess it's only the beginning for me..... Keep that tan on!! :)

Thank you woman. It gets easier, trust me. Im not outta the woods yet but i think i stand a good chance. Have faith in yourself!

I'm trying to have faith in myself. It's very hard but I'll try to make it. Thank you!!

Missmom,

Hi:)

I read your post from another thread.

I could 'feel' that......missing him while you're experiencing something so nice as a FL vaca.

How are things going today???

Hey marie, i have my moments. One minute i feel like texting something trivial and the very next i'm all 'what am i crazy?'
It's a constant effort to keep myself from going there but i find i can easily talk myself out of it now and recover from those moments with little damage. Whereas in the past it would end with an outgoing text.
How are you doing?

"Constant effort."

I can relate - that's a good way of summarizing it.

I was taking a walk last night and I was realizing that this is effin exhausting!

I feel I am on constant guard to watch what I am thinking......don't think that, don't think good stuff about him, remember the bad stuff, be strong, etc, etc.......

Ugh!!!

Basically, I am trudging through the tough stuff. Still reading the book, getting an education.

Somewhere there is a beach with MY name on it...and a cooler full of beer next to my beach chair:)

That's great you're catching yourself and breaking an old pattern.

I guess all this stuff just takes time.

It is really about time. Seems hopeless sometimes though :( .
I just really cannot get into another toxic relationship. It makes no sense to live a half-ass life, know what i mean? Sacrifice is one thing, being a complete idiot is another. Almost every relationship around me is a good one, not perfect, but healthy. Why shouldnt i have that?
Plus I refuse to let him win by contacting him. I know it's stupid and probably not the motivation that i should have but it works for me. He doesn't deserve my power.

It is really about time. Seems hopeless sometimes though :( .
I just really cannot get into another toxic relationship. It makes no sense to live a half-ass life, know what i mean? Sacrifice is one thing, being a complete idiot is another. Almost every relationship around me is a good one, not perfect, but healthy. Why shouldnt i have that?
Plus I refuse to let him win by contacting him. I know it's stupid and probably not the motivation that i should have but it works for me. He doesn't deserve my power.

Any motivation is good motivation to not contact him.

That's also the way i see it.

Miss -

YES, I know what you mean. It makes NO sense to get into a crappy relationship.

YES, you deserve that. That is the NORM.

Hang in there, mama...I have a GOOD feeling for you.

You do? Lol. That makes one of us. I sometimes feel like i'm hanging by a thread. Sigh

I do:)

I have a good feeling for all of us.

It's kinda like in AA.....they say something like
once you go to AA and hear the message, if you go back out, your drinking is never the same.

Maybe its like that here with all of us.

We have all now heard the 'message' of what we have truly lived like in these relationships.

I personally feel now that if I go back to a relationship like this,

I would be miserable...knowing what I know now.

Based on that, I have a good feeling about us all.

We know too much now to go back down a bad path.

I think we all just gotta get over this hump, as hard as it is,

but then move on to better living.

well said everyone. I want you all to be ok and know you want the same for me... so if i go back i will have people who are sad for me and I don't want to disappoint you all... If I want good for all of you why shouldn't I want it for myself... same story/pain/frustration only different scenarios... hearing your stories and understanding where u r coming from has made mine more real and has helped me through your eyes/stories that it is a way of life for me, but not a good way of life and the empathy I have for you is making it clear that I do not deserve to be treated like a piece o trash : ) yep know too much to go back... so why bother....