Women who Love too Much Community Group

WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.

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harmony7 09/05/2013

Hi to all first off.I haven't broken NC and one new thing is I now don't dwell on the good things with him but I still seem to have my brain consumed by thoughts of him, her and i.The most saddest that I feel is the realization that I meant nothing to him.She obviously meant more.Im generally doing okaiy in my life but does this experience ever allow us to have peace of mind again.I need to stop banging my head against the wall over trying to make sense of it because I know I never will.I feel pathetic going over the same ol crap to you all.

sunnyjax 09/05/2013

Dont feel like that, its ok to feel that way.
It takes time to get over emotional traumas.

was he unfaithful?! I dont know your story sorry.

Come here and talk its fine.
I can only send you a hug xxx

deleted_user 09/05/2013

Don't ever feel pathetic, we are all alike! You are in the NC stage? I'm proud that you can do that, I havent even made that choice yet.

finnmyway 09/05/2013

listen to the language you are saying to yourself. not good sister. you must find some compassion. this is the way to healing. calling yourself pathetic only prolongs the problem plus it's faulty thinking. we will go over this stuff and over and over until we don't need to anymore and guess what??? it's okay. this is the place for it. we do this process patiently, awkwardly and uncomfortably.

try to find your way, focus your attention on your strengths. like in the beginning of your post you said now you don't swell on the good things with him!! do you know how huge that is????? truly!! you are out of your fantasy life and into reality!!!! thats most of the battle dear harmony!

think about what happens if you tell someone no they can't do that or have that, what happens???? THEY WANT IT MORE!!! if you are restrictive with yourself you will get more of that. if you learn how to be kind and gentle and loving and accepting of yourself you will get more of that.

i don't know what you're all about spiritually but in some religions or cultures they believe that every thing happens for a reason according to the universe's timing. that you are right where you are meant to be. also that whatever has already happened was meant to have happened. if you are spiritual at all i offer that up as comfort, if not how abou thtis.....we all do the best we can every day. and that applies to all humans. you have done the best that you can and that is FAR from pathetic.

strive for self compassion............celebrate the small and big successes......and let us celebrate with you!!

we are far from pathetic!! codependents are probably the most loving group of people that exists!

harmony7 09/05/2013

I guess finnmyway that feeling this way may be fragments left of my self esteem that he beat to a pulp through his rejection,abuse and the D&D.I do believe me take some comfort that I no longer think too much of the nice times with him knowing now that they meant nothing to him.Sunnyjax he did cheat as he triangulated me with another woman who like me was backwards and forwards to him.Im spiritual too and believe that he came into my life for a reason,finnmyway I'm still trying to figure out those reasons.

finnmyway 09/05/2013

okay good, give yourself a big gentle hug and do something nice for yourself when that old thinking pops up it's little unhelpful head. look at how far you've come!!!

harmony7 09/05/2013

I feel blessed by all your support.

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