Just joined this group after finishing reading the book.
I split up with the father of my second child a month ago. I feel i am not entirely a woman who loves too much, however definitely can relate to aspects of what has been descibed in the book. I definitely give far too much in a relationship, become like a mother almost.. however my relationship has came to an end as my partner has a gambling addiction. I tried to support him, however after him coming clean as it got too big it could no longer be hidden.. he promised no more lies etc, 2 weeks later i found out he had infact done it again. He then stated he didnt have a problem and didn't need help. I ended it as he lied to me again and i didnt want that life for me and my children.
I have since embarked on another self help journey. My childhood being one of a domestic violence home, and a mother who had repressed her own horrific sexual abuse from parent and brother. Therefore she was emotionally unavailable, and what little capacity she had, went into dealing with my dads controlling and jealous ways and abuse.
I have always filled my life with relationships. Never been out of a relationship for more than 6 months. This is my 3rdlong term relationship as an adult. They have gotton progressively better. However i fear my controlling ways, and intolerance of my partner, in part, plays well into the breakdown of all my relationships. My partner is of course not innocent, however i have put alot of preasure on him, and tried to mould him into someone i found to be acceptable and my happiness relied upon this.
I am not trying to read as many self help books, go to therapy and work on myself as best i can. I am just about to start reading healing developmental trauma, and then the emotionally absent mother.
Basically am just posting as i am struggling day to day, i feel down, lacking motivation, managing to parent my 2 children but sometimes its really hard. I feel lonely and want to learn how to be happy within myself and try and start turning my life around and create a better person from my suffering. I just am looking for tips of how i can make little changes in my every day life to be happier. I am no stranger to meditation(although not committing much time to it at present), do try and do yoga a few times per week, walk the dog etc. Just wondered what other useful tips people have to try and null the void left, and rather than feeling empty of an evening, sitting watching tv alone when the kids go down.. how to feel ok within myself
Any help appreciated
I left my boyfriend two weeks ago. We were only together 6 months. But i feel like ive been run over by a bus. He didnt want me to put a picture of myself in a bikini on facebook. This would have been among 200 other pictures of my mexico holiday. Probably also only the 2nd or 3rd picture of me in a swimsuit that exists. If this had been the only thing, maybe i would have thought oh i understand,...