Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
I think that my friend is angry with me. Each time we talk he seems distant. I haven't seen him in 3 weeks or so. Some time ago he told me he's in love with me.. and i'm, um, not. Anyhow i love him as a friend! Now I'm panicking that he's mad at me. But what else could i've done? I feel this stong need to "be alright". To be approved. I hate arguments. Each time someone's mad at me, I do EVERYTHING to get they back.. at whatever cost. It's sick but it's an old mechanism. Like without them, my life is over. And I can't even wait some time, i have to act immediately. He is a great guy, a great pal, I'm just not attracted and i said that we're going to be only friends. I saw him once after that at a party 3 weeks ago and we were cool and everything. I havent seen him since that and we only talked by a phone. It's kinda interesting how it makes me feel. Yet another issue :D
I have this kind of thing going on as well with a really nice guy. Not attracted, but he's so nice to me. I wanted to cut him off but didnt want to hurt his feelings. I discussed this with a friend who understands and she helped me figure out what it was I was experiencing.
1) The guy is needy and expects me to fill his holes.
2) I am HEALTHY to realize this is not healthy.
3) I didn't want to cut things off because I wanted to keep my 'ace in the whole'.
All the way around, it's not good. Listen to your gut, sweety. I will assume you're like me, and what I realized is yes, it was fear on my part. Fear of losing the acceptance and love of a guy when I had nothing better going on.
I will suggest to you what has been suggested to me .... GET WELL. Be happy and love yourself before you get involved with a man again. then you will know to pay attention to those precious red flags that we've disregarded. Our gut feelings are a GIFT. They are true and they are us. Listen to them. You have what you need. Get rid of the fear and trust your gut.
You have what you need.
Love to you, sweet honey.
ppp