Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
After seeing my therapist today I had a wonderful realization. I need to drive my own bus(my life). I have been a passenger for way too long. I think of myself as very independant, but really I'm not. I have always relied on others ultimately to drive my bus.
My parents can still say things to me that really upset me. I allow their thoughts and opinions to dictate how I feel about myself. If they are terribly dissapointed in me, am I not terribly dissapointed in myself also?
My job. I continuously try to sabatogue myself. I show up late, miss appointments, and do not work very many hours. I told myself for the last 17 years that hubby will cover all expenses and I really don't even need to work. I am also very dissapointed in myself when clients leave. I don't understand why I am not successful like I would truly like to be.
My friends: I do what they want usually and when I try to ask them to do what I want and they don't I just brush it off and do something else.
The biggest thing I do is not DO what I say I'm going to do. The best thing my therapist said I could do for myself is SHOW UP for me. Be accountable. If I say I will do it, then do it. In doing this I make myself feel good and when I make myself feel good I become stronger. And when I become stronger I make better decisions for me which in turn makes me feel good and then I become stronger...What a wonderful cycle. He also said the man thing is just a part of this bigger picture. If I feel better about myself I do not let men drive my bus. I invite them to join me. Them driving their bus and myself driving my bus. Then when I really want to go left and they really want to go right we can! Then we can also meet back up....or not. I have not lost the bus!
Anyway I have a long way to go, but each day seems to get better. I also really love the Byron Katie stuff. I have used it just this last week and without several thoughts my life is calm and quiet. It is amazing how that stuff works!
My parents can still say things to me that really upset me. I allow their thoughts and opinions to dictate how I feel about myself. If they are terribly dissapointed in me, am I not terribly dissapointed in myself also?
My job. I continuously try to sabatogue myself. I show up late, miss appointments, and do not work very many hours. I told myself for the last 17 years that hubby will cover all expenses and I really don't even need to work. I am also very dissapointed in myself when clients leave. I don't understand why I am not successful like I would truly like to be.
My friends: I do what they want usually and when I try to ask them to do what I want and they don't I just brush it off and do something else.
The biggest thing I do is not DO what I say I'm going to do. The best thing my therapist said I could do for myself is SHOW UP for me. Be accountable. If I say I will do it, then do it. In doing this I make myself feel good and when I make myself feel good I become stronger. And when I become stronger I make better decisions for me which in turn makes me feel good and then I become stronger...What a wonderful cycle. He also said the man thing is just a part of this bigger picture. If I feel better about myself I do not let men drive my bus. I invite them to join me. Them driving their bus and myself driving my bus. Then when I really want to go left and they really want to go right we can! Then we can also meet back up....or not. I have not lost the bus!
Anyway I have a long way to go, but each day seems to get better. I also really love the Byron Katie stuff. I have used it just this last week and without several thoughts my life is calm and quiet. It is amazing how that stuff works!
Revelations are great aren't they? It sounds like are in a good place and I am so happy and excited for you. It also confirms my own journey and healing. It seems to me that there are many paths but we are all headed the same way...back to wholeness.
Keep going and let us know what you are learning. I love the post where there are major steps be made toward recovery...we learn so much from each other