Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
Well I have done it again. I have met yet another man who I think is a good guy. I know that I need to work on myself and end my marriage and on and on but I crave the attention of a man. I have made girlfriends and am exercising and doing healthy stuff for myself like a recovery program, but I still want companionship.
It has been 9 weeks since affair man which forced me to move out and separate from my 17 year marriage. Thank god with the help of this group and No contact I am over with affair man. But regarding my marriage I am in marriage counseling and just cant seem to want to go back to hubby. I think I am afraid to end it. We have been together 17 years and have a lot of stuff together. It will be messy.
But the worst part is that I think it will break his spirit. If he told me he wanted to leave I would be ok with that. I just don't want to be the one to hurt him. But not telling him is making my life hell. It is eating at me every day. I feel like such a child who doesnt want to do something. Why can't I stand up and make a decision? I don't know how to let go. I don't like to let go of anything!
I have only learned in the last 3 years or so how to let clients go. The first client who left me I thought I was such a loser and was going to fold up my business and go crawl under a rock! How pathetic is that?? But my mentor has helped me realize that it is not really always about me and when a client leaves it is usually a good thing. And that there will be other clients who come my way. Also I need to concentrate on the clients I still have instead of the one leaving.
All this is great but now again in my life and i am faced with letting go and having a really hard time. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
It has been 9 weeks since affair man which forced me to move out and separate from my 17 year marriage. Thank god with the help of this group and No contact I am over with affair man. But regarding my marriage I am in marriage counseling and just cant seem to want to go back to hubby. I think I am afraid to end it. We have been together 17 years and have a lot of stuff together. It will be messy.
But the worst part is that I think it will break his spirit. If he told me he wanted to leave I would be ok with that. I just don't want to be the one to hurt him. But not telling him is making my life hell. It is eating at me every day. I feel like such a child who doesnt want to do something. Why can't I stand up and make a decision? I don't know how to let go. I don't like to let go of anything!
I have only learned in the last 3 years or so how to let clients go. The first client who left me I thought I was such a loser and was going to fold up my business and go crawl under a rock! How pathetic is that?? But my mentor has helped me realize that it is not really always about me and when a client leaves it is usually a good thing. And that there will be other clients who come my way. Also I need to concentrate on the clients I still have instead of the one leaving.
All this is great but now again in my life and i am faced with letting go and having a really hard time. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
I think that the more you focus on your recovery the stronger you will get. You are a powerhouse of advice and support on this site and I have seen you grow. When it is time to end your marriage you will...I don't think you will feel good about it...it think it will still carry guilt, and grief..
I have no intention of being without a male companion. I don't even try to pull that one off. My intention is not to live without a man but rather to live with a man without being obsessive. Trust yourself...I think you know how to take care of yourself better than before and at the end of the day you have to decide what is best for you. And God, Life, the Universe will provide whatever you need to grow. People show up with gifts of a lesson. See what the opportunity will teach you
i think relationships are extensions of ourselves and if we are not healthy our relationships will not be healthy.
get healthy then worry about the future….
I do fear that I am not healthy enough yet though to really be in a relationship, but we cannot plan the time and day when we meet someone we like. I have not taken my wedding ring off yet tho and I feel very strange being with someone else and having it on. I really need to make up my mind. To me the ring symbolizes my union with my hubby and when I remove it, it should be done. It should not be put on and taken off over and over. I just can't do that. But I really like this guy and want to start out right. Maybe I am just fooling myself again tho and am not really that healthy yet and DO just want to avoid being alone?? or maybe I like the idea of being married but not to hubby. I have also kept wearing the ring cuz it fends off most men!!
It was difficult for me to end my marriage...and I took 5 years to finally take a divorce. In my 5 years of seperation from my ex-husband I was dating someone....with whom I eventually broke off after 2 years of dating.I was very down then and some friends suggested that I work on my marriage instead of getting hurt by random men..because you cant live without a man. Really? I asked myself..and tried staying away from men. Initially it was difficult and didnt make much sense to me. But slowly I focused on myself...my kids...my job...my spiritual development and for 3 years was with myself. I was in a much better place and state to take a decision and finally took my divorce...So for me...postponing a decision until one is strong, clear and complete within oneself is a good idea.
Stay beautiful..stay blessed...
i agree that is not coming from a healthy place….
Thru all of this I have found me. I know I still have a long way to go, but I feel good about all my decisions today. I feel strong. I like me. And I don't expect perfection just continued growth. I think I was done with my marriage a few years ago, I just did not have me so that is why I became so sick the last 2 years. I feel so grateful for everything I have gone thru these past 2 months. Not easy stuff.