Well so far today I feel really disgusted and angry remembering some stuff he's done. For example, a few years ago going behind my back to my abusive mother (whom he knew I felt hurt by a lot) to ask how she 'deals with me.' I had a counseling session yesterday and talked a lot about how abusive my family is/was yesterday and I just got this image in my head of this whole abusive network I've been living in. I really think I am going to have to break away from my family permanently if I really want to heal.

Also, after sending me a text calling me "a fair weather friend" a couple days ago in response to my leaving him because of being abusive and dishonest with me, I got really upset. Something about that really got under my skin. I didn't reply but I almost did out of anger /having my buttons pushed and the next morning I woke up to 7 messages from him which I deleted without reading.

I was scared to do it because I feel like I have to 'keep an eye on him' in case he snaps and I need a warning but it actually feels pretty good. : )