Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
It has been nearly two weeks since he told me he didn't love me. I have good days and bad days. I find that I am constantly checking my phone to see if he has been online on Internet chats, I do that around 50 times a day, all the time, at work, with my kids, anytime and everywhere. I cannot stop thinking about him and I cannot stop myself from checking things on the Internet about him. When we were together I was just the same, constantly checking my phone, looking for clues everywhere that he may be unfaithful. I sneakily checked his computer, I tried to look in his phone, I searched his house, anything out of place would make me suspicious; I wasn't completely unreasonable as his ex would spend time in his house so she would leave things there, of course, he said that she was there only as they both have a young child together and felt that it was good to spend time the three if them at times.
Relationships are torture to me as I'm always doing these things, could I have OCD or morbid jealousy? How can I overcome that? My only long term relationship lasted as my ex had social phobia and he would not go out anywhere and he had no friends.
I feel stuck, I always find either emotionally unavailable men or narcissistics.
Relationships are torture to me as I'm always doing these things, could I have OCD or morbid jealousy? How can I overcome that? My only long term relationship lasted as my ex had social phobia and he would not go out anywhere and he had no friends.
I feel stuck, I always find either emotionally unavailable men or narcissistics.
It could very well be ocd. The key to me is that you cannot stop doing these things. It's compulsive. It's addictive behavior.
Honestly, I think the number one thing is not to beat yourself up for being like this. If you can't control your thoughts, you can't control them. I find it helps me to try and think of something else, rather than try NOT to think of him. That's just a temporary solution though.
On a deeper level, I think the need to obsess comes from a need to have control and power over another person. You want information on him, so you feel more power over him.
The hardest thing is realizing we have NO power over other people. We can only have power over ourselves and our own lives. Ask yourself: what can I do to take care of myself in this circumstance? Make a checklist. Then physically do these things.
It's hard though...I know! I'm going through the same obsessive thoughts right now, and they are preventing me from studying for classes. All I want to do is think about him and abandon my life. :(