Compassion for ourselves may be the most challenging behavior of all to master. This occurred to Kristin when she was researching the negative emotional impact that came from the pursuit for self-esteem. In fact, there are many recent studies that support the negative impact of building our lives around “contingent self-worth” which is another way of saying that we are only as ok as others tell us. Having your sense of self hanging on the evaluations of other people and outside events is deeply emotionally destabilizing because it is so impermanent. High self-esteem moments are fleeting and attaching our self worth to the temporary successes and failures that make up life is unreliable at best, and crazy-making at worst.

Self-compassion on the other hand is a skill set worth developing because it kicks in just when our sense of self worth is bottoming out. Self-compassion helps you to heal the destructive self talk and damaging old emotional patterns that make happiness and health so elusive for so many people. Learning to be kind to ourselves when life is not conforming to our hopes is life changing. It is the doorway to learning to love ourselves and accept the ups and downs of life on earth with grace, patience and humor.

Honestly, too, if we would all learn to be a little kinder to ourselves, we would be amazed at how much easier it would be to be kinder to those we love.

For more, see The Importance of Self-Compassion

Read more: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/give-yourself-some-compassion.html#ixzz1Xxd9hC00

I know i forget to be kind to myself, i was beating myself up over stuff when i found this.