Try to ask yourself "why am I so interested in what HE is doing?" Its always about them, so we don't have to look at us. What about you? Did you share with someone else what YOU did today? Maybe you need to reach out to someone and share with them how much you need a hug or a shoulder to cry on right now. Your friends will be there for you. Find something that you really like and concentrate hard on it. Everytime you think of him and want to text him do that something else. Maybe its writing, maybe its listening to CD'S maybe its texting a friend, maybe its nature and go for a short walk.

Try as hard as you can to tell yourself " I am a good person and I have a life. I need to concentrate on ME and what makes me happy!" So force yourself to find things you enjoy or used to enjoy and force yourself to do them! Take lots of breaks and mix up your day. The idea is to change your behavior and your thinking. All you have done by texting him is create a habit. You need to replace a habit with something else. After doing the new thing for a while the old habit will fade.

I read this somewhere and it changed my life..."what if you woke up today and realized it was the last day of your life. Could you look back at your life and say, I had a good life? or did you go through the motions of life and let your life pass you by without even really knowing Who you are and what your life is about?"

Pretty powerful thought. I realized that I was just going thru the motions. My life was a blur and I was never fully present for much of it. Now I choose to be fully present. I cry and feel pain. I stop and enjoy sunsets. I look into people's eyes and see the joy or pain. I take a sincere interest in my kids thoughts and expressions and lives. I just am in the current moment instead of yesterday and tomorrow.

how did you get from you last post to no contact? are you really ready for no contact?? or maybe we shouldn't call it that???

do you intend to go no contact?? i get the sense as soon as he changes his mind you will be back with him and drop the no contact like a hot potato???

that's why it's so hard. it's not something resolved in your heart to do. it's not what you know is the nest thing for you in your heart.

you're just suffering from a break up, badly. and you need support right now.....

when we are in a crisis we need to take extra special care of ourselves. extra sleep. extra hugs and support and love. good healthy food. exercise. concentrate on 1 day at a time.

what do you want to have happen?? sometimes a little space is a good thing. just keep breathing. and focus on what you want....give it a little time to cool off. maybe it can be worked out in time?? depending on what you want...

if you want to go no contact and end the relationship righ tnow go to www.baggagereclaim.com and read the no contact rules....sign the contract. share with us more about where you are. you've focused so much on him and what he wants and what he's doing i can't see you....

Thank you both so much. I am trying really hard to do for me. Its hard when you are wired to do for others. I am making plans with my daughter, starting a nutrition/fitness program, and driving a few of my friends completely nuts with my crazy thoughts. So, I am trying to think about me and not what HE is doing. I don't want to know what he is doing but I am always thinking about it! It is hard after so long when you know what each other is doing day in and out. I am a good person and I have a good life. I just want him in it. I need to get to know me all over again and this is a perfect time to do that. It is just all of the Cognitive Dissonance getting in the way. I weep over missing him but I rejoice over his financial issues (about to file bankruptcy) that I am now clear of. I weep at not seeing his girls anymore, but I rejoice at not dealing with their bratty behavior (calling their grandma fat, Farting on people, not moving out of the way until you do what they want, etc.) and some of it getting blamed on my daughter. I weep that I will not spend my weekends with him, but I rejoice that I will have some time of my own. I weep that he blamed me for the breakup, but rejoice that he admitted he never discussed one issue with me,therefore, gave me no choices in the success or failure of the relationship and also rejoice that he admitted it may not be me after all - maybe he is just broken.

AS far as no contact - i know this is the only way. He made it clear that he made all of these decisions about our relationship ending without giving me any input. He rationalized facts in his head and believe them as truth. He told me he did all of this because he cannot handle dealing with such things and definitely cannot handle talking them out, therefore, i never knew this was coming. He wants us to pick up as friends as if we had no other relationship at all. I personally cannot be in love with a man and flip that switch. Therefore, no contact is my only option. There is no chance to reconcile when he has already made up his mind and couldn't even look at me when he was telling me this. he knows it is wrong yet does it anyway. Unfortunately I have been down this road before (not with him) and to protect my heart and mental status :- NC is the only way.