Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
I was toying with this in the bath this morning - if it wasn't for my CoD I wouldn't have learnt so many skills in my efforts to fit in, make people like me, be acceptable and not to be rejected.
Its sad but reasons to be glad too…( and to poke a little fun at myself!)
some of mine are:
I am a great cook. ( I love to feed people, hoping they will come back and think me a good wife and mother)
I am a good listener ( so I don't have to talk about my stuff!)
I learnt to be a competitive power walker ( so I could walk away my pain!)
I am open to trying new things. ( in the quest for the thing which makes me feel happy or complete)
I avoid conflict., think of myself as easy going!? (but its so I don't have to confront how I feel!)
If I hadn't had mental health issues myself I wouldn't have been able to understand others who are struggling too.
Im not sure if I would have chosen to learn these things if I hadn't been C0-D but I am glad I have the skills.
I can also see how it has affected my creativity as an artist in that I cannot express emotions in my work, as I don't feel them myself. I have also always tried to do what others will want to buy instead of what is inside me…this I need to change.
Although it hurts me most days in excruciating ways, it is what we do that shapes us and guides us….and Im glad for where I am.
(well mostly!, well today anyway!!! )
Its sad but reasons to be glad too…( and to poke a little fun at myself!)
some of mine are:
I am a great cook. ( I love to feed people, hoping they will come back and think me a good wife and mother)
I am a good listener ( so I don't have to talk about my stuff!)
I learnt to be a competitive power walker ( so I could walk away my pain!)
I am open to trying new things. ( in the quest for the thing which makes me feel happy or complete)
I avoid conflict., think of myself as easy going!? (but its so I don't have to confront how I feel!)
If I hadn't had mental health issues myself I wouldn't have been able to understand others who are struggling too.
Im not sure if I would have chosen to learn these things if I hadn't been C0-D but I am glad I have the skills.
I can also see how it has affected my creativity as an artist in that I cannot express emotions in my work, as I don't feel them myself. I have also always tried to do what others will want to buy instead of what is inside me…this I need to change.
Although it hurts me most days in excruciating ways, it is what we do that shapes us and guides us….and Im glad for where I am.
(well mostly!, well today anyway!!! )
also the humor and ability to laugh at ourselves is a great reminder and so important right????
healthy. productive. true!
i hope this means you and a good day sunny!
I would love to see some of your artwork!!! Im an artist too, and i had quit drawing for years, i recently drew a tattoo i am going to get of a phoenix... Its a beautiful design and there isnt one out there that i could find quite like it. I usually do things for money as well, portraits, designs and such. i realized drawing this was entirely for me... and looking at the finished product i realized im very very good, and i should do it more often. i used to draw out my emotions, bad or good years ago, but as i have stopped feeling them i had stopped drawing.
My art is at
http://www.artbuzz.co.uk
I too struggle with drawing my emotions - this was one thing which drove me to therapy!
I produce work all the time when Im single - soon as Im with a guy WHAM ! it all stops.
I hate that. My current H wants me to stay home and paint while he sells my work….but my 'creative space' is in the general office for his business - its not helpful!!!
I need my privacy!
I feel so guilty playing while they are working!!!
We are moving house soon so Im going to get myself an upstairs room on my own!!!!
Love the phoenix tattoo idea, I have a few too, I would love another but can't decide where and HE doesn't like them! He told me not to get any more done so I went out and had one on my wrist!!! lol!
I would like something with the songs lyrics on…"life aint worth a damn until you can shout out, I AM WHAT I AM! "
Im a work in progress.
x
light that fire!! then pour some gas on it..
I swore blind I was healed, I went abroad on my own (again !) to cleanse my soul, heal my pain and by God I thought I HAD. I am in the soul wrenchingly process ( I fear) of being chewed up and spat out by another bloodey Narc! I am praying this in not the case and am standing by him ( well at the arms length he has designated) to see if he is what he purported to be in the beginning, while I have been wrestling with self annihilating crazies and spiralling back down into the abyss of Im not obviously worthy of a Good Man! I will spare you the details ladies, I needed you so much on those too recent dark nights of the soul but to admit defeat is all too terrible. Just to say here Sunny your artwork is awesome, and you have a God Given Talent, don't stay with a man who wants to control you and zero you out ! I have no right to comment, no opinions to add, but I agree with the other ladies so what if you are CoD who gives a flying rodent, with great artistry goes hand in hand with gobsmacking sensitivity. You Go Girl !
I think sometimes WWLTM get so caught up in characterizing ourselves as this or that negative thing or focusing on our obsessions that it can be easy to forget the whole picture. Many of us really do have many great qualities and have accomplished so much in our lives. It's not black and white. Like I'm so stunned at what you have created...you really are an amazing artist.
Im amazed at your reaction. I go through the self-promotion thing like everyone but Im just going through the motions trying to convince myself I'm worth a look!
and Butter - you are very valuable to me and everyone, your voice and opinion matters too. Im very happy to hear what you have to say. VERY!
and goingup - thanks to you too!
thanks girls.
Im moving my easel upstairs today….to a tiny spare room - but its a start - then maybe I can lose myself in my creativity again - once I can find it again !!!