oh dear. you are not being kind or honest with yourself.

first of all your questions are filled with assumptions. (we all do this) but you are making all kinds of assumptions based on FB comments and pictures, i assume??? lol.

second of all living with a NARC is not a dream. not ever. she is not lving your dream then.

listen carefully. he hasn't changed. i promise you that. he can only maintain his facade for so long and then things will come tumbling down on her as well. not that we wish it but THAT is the reality of living with a N.

he not a good person, he never wass and he still isn't. his true colors will show. i say he's not a good person b/c he cheated on you. that says to me he is not a good person and you didn't not have a healthy relationship.

he couldn't love you not b/c you are unworthy or unloveable but b/c N cannot love. they can't i promise you this has nothing to do with you. none of it even though you are caught in the wake and are crushed. this has always been about him.

write down all the shitty things he's done and said to you. and block him on FB you are torturing yourself. it serves no one, especilly not you my dear.

you are asking the wrong questions.... the questions are more like,

why was i attracted to a narcissist?
why did i tolerate his bad behavior?
why am i still living in fantasy when the reality is he cheated on me and he will never change??
'
please go to natatlie's blog and immerse yourself for the day... www.baggagereclaim.com read mr unavailable and the fallback girl. read about fantasy. read the no contact rule.

please help yoursel by blikcing his and her Facebook...... you suffer tremendously and then all of a sudden after a few agonizing days you will realize that you were feeding your own fire and you will find peace. it will give you just enough space to go on about your days and keep the focus on you.

it absolutely hurts deeply to feel like there is some reason why he couldn't love you and like a child we presume it's about us. he doesn't love her anymore than he loved you. he is idealizing her right now, that will move into devaluing soon enough.

Hello I am bear an woman who loves too much. I belong to AA and we do not share but our experiences so I am going to do that because we are not therapists but people who have had the same experiences. I have gone through what you are going through. I was the child of a very well educated doctor from Yale university and ended up with one of the lowest people that the president of Cuba had sent to Miami in a ship. He was cheating on me with a "man" and I was furious. I was mad and felt very similar to you now. He told me he was changing because of me and I could not see that the man was totaly gay and I was not missing anything - I deserved, not only because I am a human being but because I was a well educated person to be treated with respect and honor. I was as obsessed as you are now and to the point of going crazy...I am telling you... it has been 30 years and I have not gone through that again because I worked the steps and the grace of my Higher Power has freed me from getting involved in those sick relationships - I have worked out the reason why I got involved with that man and have been honest with myself and it all has helped so much that right now I am in peace. Hope you find peace too.

The feeling of rejection is awful! Just because he chose her does not mean that there is something wrong with you. If just means, he is wanting something else right now. If he is a N then she will see soon enough...Count your blessing girly! He may have just done you a favor! Go live it up! :)