Women who Love too Much Community Group

WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.

576 Members

8,726 Posts

0 Online

harmony7 07/16/2013

Here I write again after countless times of buying into his crap.XN texted me last night and due to the nature of his texts he pushed my buttons.Yes I fell right back into his game of any supply will do.Here are some of the things he said and I will be grateful to know if anyone else would have replied if they had of received similar.He knows ive moved states and am travelling around with my job earning good money.First one was,Have a lock on you and your going down,the net is tightening can you feel it.Run but you cannot hide.I then replied you are not worth my words of reply.He then said F wit is scared well you need to be.I then said to him no reply and bye.He replied with No you are going down F,wit life mission to take Fwit down.Whats wrong with me for even answering him.This continues to just be a rollercoaster of abuse.I also said that I wished he was dead as he had said to me in a previous text which hurt me greatly.I would appreciate any advice as sometimes my thoughts feel tortured by all this.

finnmyway 07/16/2013

oh dear. he is threatening you you MUST block him!!! don't worry about responding. if you block his number altogether he cannot contact you at all!!!! that is my advice, block him right now!!!! your response is gratifying him. take that away from him. do not play games with a narcissist b/c many narcissists are in fact psychopaths!!! all psychopaths are narcissists though not all narcissists are psychopaths. there is a fine line. stay away from him. remove the energy he is gettitng from you and he will eventually stop threatening you...

finnmyway 07/16/2013

you are playing with fire.

harmony7 07/17/2013

I know finnmyway and I have to find my way out of this hell/hole of a mess.I have to break free from this hold he has on me.Like I said sometimes my thoughts of it all feel so tortured because I cannot rid him from my thoughts.I need peace of mind.

finnmyway 07/17/2013

what are you willing to do for peace of mind???

swelsha 07/17/2013

The only way to stop the thoughts for good is to end the contact. Focus on yourself harmony. We do not have to keep the craziness going.

harmony7 07/17/2013

I know what I have to do finnmyway as we all know.NC is the only way so im back on track and vow to move forward from here on.I cannot change the past but I can change what is to come.Like you said his threats are becoming far too dangerous to play with.

finnmyway 07/17/2013

no i didn't mean it in a condescending way i meant .....sometimes we have to start with what we've got. so i wanted to ask you what are you willing to do at this point???? maybe nothing... but we could start with that too. if you're unwilling it's basically pointless to talk to you about no contact right???

harmony7 07/18/2013

I didn't think you meant it condescending at all finnmyway as a matter of fact I truly appreciate your advice.I was just reiterating that I know from the knowledge I have learnt by reading and coming to the board listening to others stories that its imperiative to healing that I begin to move forward and that is what I am concentrating on.Once again you are all a Godsend as we have all been in the same place.

finnmyway 07/18/2013

okay so are you starting no contact again?? how's it going?? just by being here with an open mind you are moving yourself in a new direction. being willing to listen to others and continue to be honest with your process is exactly how you do it.

you're gonna be okay. some little part of us recognized the fight we have within which basically says to me we know better. some part of us knows we deserve better. isnt' that wonderful?? considering where i started that is a miracle!

deleted_user 07/18/2013

Harmony: it is a greatly empowering feeling to totally block someone from being able to call, text, email, or fb. You need to make it permanent. I even got a restraining order. No one has the right to threaten you. That's just verbal and emotional abuse. Take charge of your life and put a permanent stop to it

harmony7 07/22/2013

Hi first of all to everyone that is so supportive.Its been 1 week of NC and I have deleted his number.I have just moved for my job to another new town so im looking that its all a fresh start.Im actually feeling quite positive as that recent abusive contact seems to have made me more determined to never go back to that abusive again.I know finnmyway that I can do this.

goingup 07/22/2013

Gosh, I am so sorry to hear of the horrible and SCARY things he has been saying to you! Please don't feel bad for breaking NC. Usually they will say the worst things possible to hook you and steal your power. Please try to go back NC. You don't deserve his garbage. Hugs.

finnmyway 07/22/2013

YAY!!!! 1 whole week???? that's wonderful!! it's the time and distance that let's us learn that we can in fact do it. we are forced to sit with the feelings we don't think we can sit with. the more time we sit wtih them the less able we are to trun around and say or believe "i can't do this!!" b/c we are/we have been doing it.

i still think you should block him completely b/c you would then be able to experience the peace of mind that goes along with making proactive decisions and taking your power back in to your own hands. it's about taking complete responsibility and not allowing him to contact you. that is empowering and freeing....

yuo're doing great!!!! we're so with you!!

deleted_user 07/22/2013

Harmony this is just

deleted_user 07/22/2013

My opinion but it seems like all of us are in different stages of recovery some alot more than others ( myself I am new and used to taking a lot) the only advise I can give I from a past horrible BF that was constantly abusive in all ways. When I finally ha gotten so done with it tht I literally hate the sound of his voice the thought of him being around me for one moment was enough to make me vomit!! Then TBH I really wouldn't care about blocking him completely in fact I did I moved away sadly because I lived my home but at the time I thought it would be best he made alot of threats as well. I guess Short point is that I think you and everyone else in here is doing great. We are learning as we go and helping one another. When you are fully ready u will block him and even the most hurtful of things will roll off ur back/ sadly before then they hurt more than anything/(

Join the Conversation