Your post was the first post I read on DS about three years ago. And you were so deep in the abuse that reading this now three years later makes me so proud of you! You have already started. Love and time. Give yourself love and time.

Thank you Queen Bee!
The hardest part is not to just sit and brood and think about it, its really not helpful but I am having to deal with him and get everything sorted so discussions with him bring it all up….

At the moment he is keen to get me to sign his shares in his business back over to him. I won't sign them until everything is done, the finances are sorted and in my bank. He will get mad!

I find it really hard to understand what went on between us. How did I let that happen? How did I not see?!
I still cannot understand what makes someone like that do those things.
In one of his most recent emails he said, ' I love you but not at any cost'

sigh.
One day at a time. x

When you are in the abuse for so long it is very hard not to see things through your abuser's eyes and not to keep your strength. But you have already started claiming the lost pieces. The abuse was not all of you. It was a part of you. And you are taking it back piece by piece. And the quote from his email is not surprising, What matters is that you see it for what it is now.

Sunnyjax, of course I remember you. I have followed your posts here and there, even when you posted in other groups. I could sense your pain and indecision, but of course each one of us has to leave on our own accord, not because someone else is trying to pressure us to do so.

You did it! and it has been 3 weeks! bravo. Obviously it was your time. I have heard the the saying that it takes 13 times to leave a bad relationship. Don't worry about the overweight, you are beautiful--it will take care of itself as you get more active.

Now you have to deal with the getting out residue, the legal matters. They are always a pain in the ass. Just take one step at a time. I know that sort of advice is vague and ambiguous but it's the absolute truth. Don't try to multitask too much or it will be overwhelming..

Take care. This is major news! sending you love

Hey, I think I remember you! I'm so happy to hear of your decision to free yourself and seek a better life.
I would recommend seeking out a Codependents Anonymous meeting and seeing if it is for you. I have been going for over 2 years now and the only requirement for membership is a desire for healthy and loving relationships. There you will find many others who have been in dysfunctional relationships, and are in various stages of recovery. It has helped ME so much, it's not for everyone, but I recommend checking it out if you have not.