It DOES get better but give yourself time. One day at a time is all you can do. And breathe. You have been traumatised you need to be kind to yourself not beat yourself up because you still suffer. Be kind to yourself as you would to others.
hugs
xxx

Like sunny said,take it one day at a time.

It DOES get 100% better but it takes a long time. Everyone is different. For me, the worst part was after 3 months of no contact, I literally had a suicidal meltdown. I ended up calling a suicide crisis line. I felt like I couldn't get out of bed. I had to force myself out. I literally had to take it one minute at a time. I couldn't even take it a day at a time.

It seems like the worse these guys are, the harder NC is. Because they lower our self esteem so much, because they take over our thoughts and our life so all we think of is them. Because we feel like nothing without them and that life is empty and boring without them.

Trust me, you WILL get better. One day you will look back on all this and wonder why you even dated him. You will feel SO proud of yourself. You will have your life back. Just hang in there, x

Miss I can only echo what sunny and goingup say....it will get better. I find that YouTube was a big help to me. I found some guided meditations on there for cutting the cord and others to help with my anxiety. You deserve so much better than this man can give you. I had 30 days no contact then lapsed had 3 months of mind games and I am coming up to another 30 days no contact. I am starting to slowly feel better but it has taken effort to try and put myself in a different place. You can do this..... start looking after you and try and halt those obsessive thoughts. Why torture yourself??

Don't give up.

I think a big aspect to this is that this man does not want you to contact him. This in and of itself can be really difficult because if, at least, someone is throwing you "crumbs" (even if you know, logically, that that person is not good for you) your ego is somewhat fed by this. If someone doesn't want any contact, however, it can be super difficult. There is really nothing you can do, though, except for to move on from this man.

Maybe going on antidepressants and seeing someone--like a therapist--who can help you heal--would be a good idea right now. It will help get you over the worst of it. You can't have a relationship without the partner wanting the relationship too and this guy simply doesn't want a relationship with you.

You have a lot to offer a relationship and you deserve only someone who is able to love you in return. You are worth it! Save your love for someone who is worthy of it!

xoxo

I am going thru a bit of pain myself right now. I went thru what you are going thru just 1 and 1/2 years ago and now because I chose to avoid all of the divorce stuff I get to go thru that pain now. So thank your lucky stars that you did not marry that jerk and have kids with him because then you are attached to him for good!

And I know exactly what it was like to not have the BF want to contact me either. It was very painful. A lot of girls on here were stating how their guy was stalking them and calling them and so on and here I was all alone and not worthy of my guy wanting me. So I thought. But in the long run you are the lucky one, because it is a little easier to get over someone who is not there. At all. Very painful but good.

It took me a severe meltdown at about 2 months until I started to be ok. But here is the good news: I run into him now here and there and I have absolutely no desire to even acknowledge him. He disgusts me. Now he on the other hand continues to try and have a conversation with me when we run into each other. It gives me great pleasure to just look straight at him and ignore him and walk away like he does not even exist. : ) You will get there too.

It REALLY does get better with ALOT of time. But it is so worth it! You are worth it!! In two weeks I will be 1 year no contact with my ex of 6 years. During our on and off involvement I had 2 suicide attempts because I felt so worthless. Now, at a year of no contact, I feel AMAZING!! I found a better job, lost a of the weight I gained when I was with him and most of all, have the best relationship with myself that I have ever had in my entire life. I even have a singles cruise planned in May to celebrate my accomplishment. I took therapy, self help books, support groups, you awesome ladies on DS, a mood stabilizer and total dedication to get where I am. And a lot of tears, anger and really bad days. Especially at first. For me, it took me until about the 8 month part before I stopped thinking of him everyday and feeling angry and hurt. Now at a year, I barely think of him at all. It is more wonderful than I could of ever imagined.

All I can say is I know it hurts but it WILL pass. Just stick with it. We have all been where you are.