I read this article several years ago, or at least one that was a lot like it. It is different from most information out there on dealing with narcissists. I re-read it tonight. Lots of wisdom in this author's works.

https://anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com/2013/07/20/are-you-a-magnet-for-narcissists/

Thought I'd update this post with some interesting observations/speculations I made today, based upon things that I have read and my own personal experiences.

I have been wondering how exactly narcissists become drawn to certain people, and I don't think that there is an exact formula for each narcissist, because their tastes and tendencies are all unique...and there are theories, of course, that narcissists are drawn to attractive, together women and then step-by-step strip them of their confidence--though it seems more as though narcs choose people who put up with their shit. This holds true for all narcs, I think,and Women Who Love Too Much tend to put up with a phenomenal amount of shit. We are absolutely TOO tolerant, TOO patient; we literally "love too much". 

But I think that it is more than that when it comes to what can predispose someone to being a narcissist magnet, I think that it's when narcissists sniff out a vulnerability of some sort. And women will show varying amounts of vulnerability depending on who the narcissist is, and what type of attraction they might have for whatever or however the narcissist is able to mirror who they think that person is. 

Take for example me: I am a single mother who experiences the usual challenges experienced by a single mother; money is tight, and my support system limited. By virtue of the fact that I am older and have kids, it beats out a lot of competition for someone who is threatened by competition. Additionally, there is more of a chance that I will be grateful for any crumbs thrown my way, and the narcissist assumes that he can act in any shitty old way and because my chances might seem sparse, it gives the narcissist a greater feeling of security that he will not be rejected because of who he is in his core. 

I observed this today because we had an acquaintance over who is around 30, and she lives at home with her parents, who are well off. She is secure--essentially following her dreams, supported by loving parents who want her to live the life that she wants. She is obviously attracted to men with hot bods and couldn't care less about what kind of financial security they have to offer her because she doesn't want for financial security--she already has it. My guy, who normally seeks out the company of women for "friends" had no interest in her by the end of the visit. I could tell that her security repelled him. He has a type--and the type is someone who will feel--at least initially--grateful for his savior-ways. This is how he hooks people in. She did not, in any way, require saving. So that has stuck in my mind: narcissists are drawn to easy bait--someone who is vulnerable, but who the narcissist feels (at least initially) good about because that person is eye-candy of some sort, and they totally feed the ego of the narc because they are grateful to him. The narcissist, loving this fresh, new supply of ego boost idealizes the victim until their mask starts to slip ad their victim recognize who they really are. Of course, the devaluation and discard are inevitable, even if the discard is an painfully protracted situation that happens over a course of time leaving the victim no choice but to leave the relationship before it destroys them. 

Anyway, just some thoughts. Maybe some of you have observed this too. 

So summary: one way you can make yourself invulnerable to narcissists is to not "need" them. It's a tall order, I know.