This question... we all ask. we introspect, we blame ourselves. we wonder and look for any loophole that we might be unreasonable in our decision that it needs to end. and they see this in us and prey on it. if its the same old story, it will be the same old ending. leave once you figure out the story does not match the pretty cover, you already know the ending.

IT DOES NOT MATTER, if you have your own issues and pushed them to the limit. because honestly, any healthy self respecting healthy man, would simply leave you, not ridicule you and throw their actions onto you. there is not guilt to be felt. you have issues, we all do, we have been through traumatizing events that have shaped our psyche into a squashed melon. we learn as we go. sometimes we are ready, sometimes we are not. but when the time comes, and the leap is made, the strength is there to turn and run if it proves to be bad.

There is no reasonable or unreasonable when it comes to abuse.... or the threat of abuse. this includes name calling, Fuck you's, and throwing things. if this happens within a relationship, regardless of the cause of it all... you dont need to be there and it is unhealthy, and once it happens once, if both parties are not willing to immediately go to counseling without the urging of the other to introspect upon themselves, then you do not need to be in the relationship.

i am speaking mostly for myself in this, but i thought i would throw it out there.
i caught myself trying to rationalize the situation today, and came up with that it really doesnt matter, it happened, im uncomfortable, whether the fault is mine or his, it doesnt matter, because i need to feel stable. i have a daughter. and whether im by myself or involved, i need to be stable and do what it takes to be stable.