Women who Love too Much Community Group

WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.

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Am I the narcissist?

Missmom75
Missmom75
Today's a better day.
Sometimes I wonder if M was so rotten because he's intimidated by me. Maybe he feels inferior to me which is why he felt a constant need to put me down or disappoint me. I've always felt like he embelished everything about himself. he not only ALWAYS talked about himself and his family and his work, and his new truck and this or that that he just bought...But he always seemed to have this outlandish story about eeverything that went on in his life. I never talked about myself. For one, because he never asked, and 2, I never really felt like it because my stuff just felt so mundane after he was done extravagantly detailing something about him.
I'm gonna vent myself here (because I can lol): I'm a good looking woman, I take good care of myself so I turn alot of heads, if I do say so myself. I think I'm very smart and resourceful. I know alot of stuff and I know how to do alot of stuff (that he doesn't lol). I take out my own garbage, change my own oil (car), i'm a great cook, an amazing mom. I have a fantastic career, I stand on my own 2 feet and have never accepted any handouts from anyone. I'm funny and witty. I have my own place, my own brand new car, i make good money. My family rocks, my son is the best little boy in teh world who adores his mamma. I'm a soccer mom, and a darned good one. I don't NEED anyone.
ok I'm done. lol
I just think he's out of his fckng mind for letting a catch like me slip away. But maybe that's just it. Maybe he couldn't handle me. Maybe he needs someone who is less than him, smaller than him in many ways.
swelsha
swelsha
exactly. everyone knows it takes a special breed of kick-ass woman to be a soccer mom. but seriously yes, I think alot of men want a childish, dysfunctional woman they can take care of. thanx god we are not that way.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My N. actually told me when he was leaving me: you are a strong wonan, he said, you can do it without me, and i want a little cutie i can take care of. So, yes, men are intimidated by strong women. Do u know this saying that ladies' strength is in their weakness? I guess this is it. But how can we afford to be weak if we have to carry all the burdens of life on our shoulders? We have to be strong, and this is a circle we are stuck in.
swelsha
swelsha
what do you think that little cutie will do when she grows up? she'll leave.
Missmom75
Missmom75
Which is why men like these never really evolve.
It's odd though because M has always been with older women. He prefers older women. He's 8 years younger than me.
Why choose an older woman if you're not man enough?
swelsha
swelsha
security and stability.
Missmom75
Missmom75
Both of which they reject though.
I don't get it.
Coffeecupgirl
Coffeecupgirl
Missmom75- I could have written your post! Like you I didn't get it for a LONG time. I mean my ex really should have been in total awe that someone like me even looked once at someone like him. Like you, I am all those things you listed and he is an uneducated, deadbeat, lazy loser without a dime or friend to his name. I have come to realize that it wouldn't have mattered if I was Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry or Princess Kate Middleton he would never have appreciated me, he isn't capable. He doesn't value quality but rather trash. They are attracted to what they are... trash...and place no value on the good or important things in life. And sometes I think that just by us giving them the time of day it devalues us in their eyes because they know they are worth nothing do they figure we are of little value if we are willing to be with someone as crappy as them.
Missmom75
Missmom75
'Misery loves company' comes to mind.
f*ck that. He can kiss my round and beautiful a$$ !
deleted_user
deleted_user
You know, I am really a package too! Sometimes I think it was too much for him. He knew being with me would mean he had to "step up his game" and he is lazy. It was much easier for him to find some trash from back home who doesn't care if he sleeps around, spends every second doing things for HIMSELF and never calls. A quality woman like me was just too much for him. Even my therapist said, "Honey, you're too rich for his blood". Same for you Miss...they couldn't handle it. For real.
Missmom75
Missmom75
You said it!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Ns take great pleasure in snapping a strong woman in half. Good for you for stepping away. They often go for older, independent women and chip away until their crazy making crap drives us to despair. They have floozies on the side but get their real kicks from bringing a strong woman to her knees and take great pleasure in watching her in pain. Do not let him catch a whiff of your trauma. Your greatest revenge is to have a good life and move on without a backward glance! NC is the only way. Good luck on your journey!
Missmom75
Missmom75
Thank you laundrygirl. Oh yeah..there is no way he'll ever know that he's made me suffer. Today is one week no contact and although I have some very low moments, I'm so happy with how I handled things and how I've managed to keep going. I haven't had any urges to contact him although i do wish he'd make an attempt.