Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
I had been doing so good and feeling really positive about my life again. The other day I was just thinking about how far I had come on this journey- how my self esteem had improved. It had been nine months since THE RELATIONSHIP had finally ended once and for all. Soon to be a year. Then... the X Significant Other showed up at my house, just wanting to talk, of course. We cried and we talked like we had never done before. He seemed open and honest. It felt REAL. He asked me to go out to dinner the following weekend. Wanted to talk some more. The dinner was nice and I enjoyed it. But after at his house was not. He became upset with me because I wasn't going to spend the night. He became sullen while I was talking about this new church I was going to the next morning. Then he said he was hurt that I would choose to go to church rather than spend time with him. This was coming from someone who was only available when he wanted to be in our past relationship. I really didn't react. I just said good night, that I enjoyed the dinner and left.
WHAT WAS I THINKING???? I have been terribly distracted this week obsessing and analyzing. Upset with myself for being sucked back in. But today I realized... Before I would have spent the night to please him. Before I would have not went to church the next morning because I would have felt quilty for doing something for myself.
And now I am smiling. I guess I am stronger than I thought. I have my balance back.
Just a funny thought. Maybe instead of Women Who Love Too Much we should be called Women Who Think Too Much.
WHAT WAS I THINKING???? I have been terribly distracted this week obsessing and analyzing. Upset with myself for being sucked back in. But today I realized... Before I would have spent the night to please him. Before I would have not went to church the next morning because I would have felt quilty for doing something for myself.
And now I am smiling. I guess I am stronger than I thought. I have my balance back.
Just a funny thought. Maybe instead of Women Who Love Too Much we should be called Women Who Think Too Much.
9 months later he came back? That is SO SCARY. I have not heard from mine in 4 months so I assumed I never would again.
Thank goodness you did not get sucked back in. His sullen and self centered behavior shows that HE has not changed. It would have been like stepping into field covered with live mines. Anywhere you stepped would have caused an eventual explosion that would hurt even MORE then before. Because you would have willingly and consciously gone back into what you know is a bound to be a heart ache and a huge step backwards.
My thearpist thought for sure my ex would contact me and she said: This is going to be the biggest test of your life and you beter hope you pass it.
So congratulate yourself, you have passed a huge test!!!
What wonderful work to stay centered. I'm really pleased for you... keep it up.
Having these kinds of positive experiences will teach you that You CAN trust yourself
and you will take care of you... It will continue to build and build.
Hugs !!
We had talked on the phone a couple of times since our relationship had ended. My father had passed away and that was one of the tmes he had called. It was always just a polite conversation. I really couldn't believe it when he showed up at my house. I should have known it was only to make him feel better about himself, nothing to do with me. So as a warning to all, they do keep trying to suck you back in (hoover vacuum). SusyP get prepared. Listen to what your therapist said!!
I really enjoyed this post.
Yeah we over analise everything but my theory on that is if we didn't we wouldn't be moving in the right direction we are all trying to move in and just accept our choices blissfully unaware of our unhealthy patterns/choices in love.
So impressed.
I swear I did not think I would react this way. I was scared to death of a ringing phone. Meanwhile, what an illusion, it was not even him. I hope he continues NOT to contact me. Meanwhile, I should have known he would not be calling. He NEVER called the entire time we were together, just daily emails as he told me he did not like to use his minutes.
It makes me want to cry that I am still reactive to even the thought of him after 4 months. I think he ever does email, I will just delete the email without reading it. I hope I have the strength to do that. When will this nightmare end?
I've had another thought today that doesn't make me feel too good. Why? Why do they come back? It's because they think they can.
My boy used to come back because I kept forgiving him, but he kept doing the same things cheat/ lie be emotionally unavailable run away.
Yes and in the past we let them one of my biggest regrets is I didn't have the self love . strength and insight into myself to say. Goodbye.
Everyone has there own book they are writing, Some chapters we dont have control over others we can write the heading if you get my drift.
I have moments of weakness all the time but trying hard to rewire the hard drive.
Keep going x