Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
I have gone NC with my affair guy and it is killing me. It has only been 2 weeks, but I actually just am feeling a slight bit better the last couple of days. BUT now I have leaned back into my husband who I have not been happy with for several years. It is so hard to be alone but I have realized that I am getting no where in my recovery by going back to someone out of fear of facing myself. I wish I could do this by still being in a relationship, but for me its all about facing Me and I can only do that by being alone. I have two wonderful Kids and lots of friends and support and my higher power. I have to constantly remind myself of that. I have never had to do anything this hard before. I have been crying for 2 1/2 weeks now and feel like it has been years since I was happy. I don't know how to enjoy life with just me. How could I have contributed anything to these relationships if I did not like me??
Sometimes even when I am with my "man" I still feel lonely. I feel like he does not get me he does not understand. The book makes everything seem easy but it isn't every step has its own level of difficulty and because I am in so much pain I would like to consume all steps in one. I think when we stop or try to stop focusing on them we become overwhelmed with out own issues and then it becomes so much easier to focus on him. For myself, I realize that I am not in love. I am not passionately fallen over myself because I am head over head in love. Those strong feelings that I feel are anxiety because without him my mind is trying to protect me from my own pain that reeks beneath the surface. He has not hurt me so profoundly, he has not caused me all this pain. The pain is my own. Believe it or not that helps me from making any of my emotions about him. He does not have the power to cause me that much pain. So with that awareness I realize that I still have some control over myself, I still have some power and then I start from there.