Good for you! You handled it well, allowed him to try to make some retribution but did NOT allow yourself to get sucked back into his hole. He got himself there and he is looking for someone to deliver him out of it. You didn't allow it to be you.

Thank you. Amazing how 15 years can seem like yesterday. So ladies, here is an example - they will never take you out of their "supply" list. Once you are in their web they will always try to keep you in it. Even after 15 years and no contact.

can't believe he had the juevos to ask for a hug!!

Yes, interesting.
I had an ex boyfriend of one year when I was in my early 20's who was a shit. He was Colombian and we had a mad love affair in Greece. I followed him later (at his proposal) to his home town in Colombia where I discovered that the handsome, romantic, loving, doting man I thought I would marry was actually an emotionally empty, philandering, shallow idiot. He made my life Hell but I got out and moved to Bogota where I became a teacher.
We spoke once more before I left Colombia in 1988--it was brief and that was that.
Two years ago, he found me on fb and asked if he could call me. I had no hard feelings. It was a long time ago and long forgotten. He called and apologize profusely for his treatment of me 20 years ago. He had been partnered three times since with three kids on three continents (his looks worked in his favour but nothing else). He had struggled with guilt for 20 years. I had let it all go.
I think he thought we could rekindle something but I lost interest 20 years ago.

They never know what they until it's gone. Selfish, stupid bastards.

amazing when you think of the pain they caused us. it seemed like they had the upper hand at the time.
not!!!

Wow - what a story - 15 yrs have gone by. That is astonishing but I am glad he apologized. It is the right thing to do and you deserve to know he admits he knows he treated you badly. I would not see him though. Do you think that because he hit rock bottom he is looking for your assistance now?

I absolutely think it is because he hit rock bottom. I appreciate the apology from him but not sure i would have gotten it unless he had lost it all. When we got married we had nothing. He now has nothin again and contacts me. Not good enough. I agree that I had also moved on a long time ago knowing it was his fault and not mine. I was not even angry when he called. I had let it go and was shocked he has held onto it . I guess that is what guilt does.

yikes!! when i was still in my fantasy i would imagine that he got clean and sober and came back years later to make amends....

i'm gonna have to go back to him at some point to make amends for my codependency.....i better have some damned strong boundaries by then, lol

Dear Weneego: If I may opine... I would exercise great caution in attempting to make amends. I did something akin to that -- thinking it would help me heal -- and it only served to further validate his twisted idea that I was somehow solely responsible for the failure of our 26-year marriage, his unhappiness, drinking, gray hair, etc., etc., etc. I ended up feeling further beaten down and bad about myself. I don't want this for you.

But then again, perhaps you'll have greater success and closure. I certainly hope so!