Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
It is by adressing our childhood problems that we guarantee not to reproduce the same problems or same atmosphere in our adult life.
Childhood can be painful, but remember that adulthood lasts longer.
Nobody has invented a dreadful secret, and secrets we keep , keep us from Healing.
Only you can know what was your story as a child. If your original home was dysfunctionnal, maybe you think that nobody shoudl know, and that your adult life would solve all that sorrow and pain by seeing this charming prince come to save you like in the fairy tails. Oh, well, maybe the charming prince has now turned to a toad.
Those secrets from childhood need to be talked out , so we do not fataly reproduce the same situations as adults.
A theraphy is like a "talking cure". Finding a therapist must always be done for ourselves and never for someone else. We might try making appointments from the phone book and pick the one with whom we feel more confident.
From my experience, I have found that a woman thérapist is better for WWLTM.
The talking cure can go from short, a few appointmenst, to long, years as I had the chance to work out my problems trough a longlasting psychanalysis.
Short or long théraphy is always useful.
Do not worry about how terrible your childhood secrets can be. There are anyway few ideal families in the world.
We see sometimes other people saying : "My childhood was perfect". That is very very rare true. There is a lot of Cognitive Disonnance in those phrases, shame of being honest and negation.
Hugs to you,
Maria
Childhood can be painful, but remember that adulthood lasts longer.
Nobody has invented a dreadful secret, and secrets we keep , keep us from Healing.
Only you can know what was your story as a child. If your original home was dysfunctionnal, maybe you think that nobody shoudl know, and that your adult life would solve all that sorrow and pain by seeing this charming prince come to save you like in the fairy tails. Oh, well, maybe the charming prince has now turned to a toad.
Those secrets from childhood need to be talked out , so we do not fataly reproduce the same situations as adults.
A theraphy is like a "talking cure". Finding a therapist must always be done for ourselves and never for someone else. We might try making appointments from the phone book and pick the one with whom we feel more confident.
From my experience, I have found that a woman thérapist is better for WWLTM.
The talking cure can go from short, a few appointmenst, to long, years as I had the chance to work out my problems trough a longlasting psychanalysis.
Short or long théraphy is always useful.
Do not worry about how terrible your childhood secrets can be. There are anyway few ideal families in the world.
We see sometimes other people saying : "My childhood was perfect". That is very very rare true. There is a lot of Cognitive Disonnance in those phrases, shame of being honest and negation.
Hugs to you,
Maria
When a child, you are not responsible if your caretakers mistreat you or just don't give you the best guidance. You don't know better. You go off into the world with false beliefs of what life is and what relationship are and it can take a long time to figure that out, especially if you are being manipulated by someone that uses all your good traits against you - your empathy, kindness, nurturing, gullible, supporting, flexible, giving, caring, loyal.. I could go on but you get the picture.
You are at the point where adressing childhood issues is not the urge. You stayed long in a Relationship with a man who was not convenient to you.
You woke up, you filed for divorce and you left. You have been grieving for five years and now if you search the help of a therapist it is more about letting go and moving on.
You sound stuck in your memories of how much that man has hurt you and deceived you. As you move on, you will put that man and that Relationship in the place where it should be, and that is back away in a corner of your memories without hurting no more. Then you will go on with your life.
No matter how old you are, try new adventures, new activities, new friends, and new skills.
Do not stuck yourself with regrets. You left when you were ready, and that's all.
First of all, I have already addressed childhood issues and know exactly what they are.
Additionally that is NOT what happened in my life, I did not wake up and file for a divorce and leave. There was much more to it and it certainly did not happen like that. I have been going to a therapist for my own growth and healing, even before I told my husband to get out. I am not stuck in memories at all. It is quite normal to grieve throughout a long period of time, especially when you are digesting your entire adult life and that with a Narcissist. You don't grieve all at once and then it's over. When you have loved deeply and lose someone through death or divorce for example, you grieve and grow and grieve and grow and learn. It is a process, and as you go through it you see things differently.
I come on this site to sometimes vent my feelings and sometimes share what happened to me or I am feeling at the time, not to have someone combine my different posts and tell me what I am or what I have done. I understand you are trying to be helpful, but re-telling in your words what you think i have written about in other posts onto this one post about childhood wounds is offensive to me, especially when I did not ask for any advice. Please refrain from telling me what I am or what I did. I did not ask for your view on my life.
My posts are for others to relate to that are going through the same thing, I do not need a counselor, I have one.
I do appreciate your comment where you are trying to say that I should not regret, but just accept that I ended it when I was ready. And though I certainly know that is the correct way to feel, it is not always the way I feel. There are days where I do regret things and there are other days that I don't at all.
Unless someone asks for your advice it's better to stick to expressing your feelings about your own personal life.
I am sorry you feel hurt or missunderstood by my comments.
My participation here comes from the heart and all based on my own experience.
I didn't meant to give you guidance and I hope you understand I am not an oldie here and have missed the explanations and posts about your life that you have shared before.
Ladies come here for feedback, and advise and I do too.
This is what I was talking about in another share by the power of women helping each other in primitive and now modern communities.
I hope you will not keep on being harsh to me in the future since we do not need more missunderstanding and bullying from we other women, men take care of that all that well.
Hugs to you,
Maria