Women who Love too Much Community Group

WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.

576 Members
8,726 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Women who Love too Much Support Group

ACCEPTING COMPLIMENTS

Group FounderDracona
Dracona
Just food for thought, many of us WWLTM have trouble accepting kindness from others... I had to do a lot of self work on this and it was very difficult in the beginning. I used to feel guilty when people would give me a compliment, as if i owed them for it even though i didn't ask for it. Someone said they liked my hair, I had to reply with how i liked their shoes, shirt, anything, multiple things even, then changing the subject by asking for where they got it from. I would feel guilty to just say thank you... it didn't seem like enough. Either i would do this, or lessen their compliment by putting myself down slightly.

First step, even though it makes you anxious... its ok to say THANK YOU and nothing more. even if you don't believe it.

When i give someone a compliment, I mean it, and I want them to say thank you, and i dont want them to feel awkward. They deserve the same courtesy from me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
TRUE!
Same old problem we are not good enough and don't deserve anything because we thought it was our fault if our parents did not love us unconditionally...

We have to prove ourselves worthy. We get our worth from what we do, create, give etc...
This is why it is a massive trigger when people say we did not try or are a failure...

I am loved for the first time of my life. It NEVER happened to me before, although I thought I was being loved... beleived it so hard...

XX Petit Pois
deleted_user
deleted_user
I still have trouble accepting compliments, they make me feel awkward. I'm trying to change it but it's difficult.

There's someone who's in love with me but I have trouble feeling anything for him. I'm too overwhelmed by my emotional problems to pay attention to him, I feel a little guilty about it but I'm just not able to offer him a lot right now. You're lucky petit pois.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I did my daughter's hair last night. Highlighted it, then colored it. She said she loved it and said I did a good job, but I couldn't accept that. I thought she was just being nice to me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm with you on that..... I am only just learning in the past few years how to take a compliment and say 'thank you' without any additional 'but...' ..... it still sounds like an alien thing to do, but the more you practice receiving the more natural it becomes. Also don't forget to 'big yourself up' ladies... its important we say to ourselves how wonderful we truly are for all the many reasons that is true. I have fun with it and talk to myself and tell myself I am awesome in many ways... like last night I was out on a tough group bike ride and I struggle with some routes so whilst I was breathlessly battling up a hill, I said out loud " You go 2Butterfly, your doing the best you can do..." and then I said " Why thank you 2butterfly, I am trying and doing rather well !"... and then when someone went past me and heard me, I said to him " well I'm bigging myself up and someones gotta do it!" and who cares if he thought I was crazy... it made me feel good and I was smiling !