Women who Love too Much Community Group

WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.

576 Members

8,726 Posts

0 Online

Dracona 09/26/2012

sorry i havent been around much lately, school started again.

Once in a while i look at my ex's facebook. he didnt have it before until recently. i only look to see what he is doing if i can see, to try to plan on what he will come at me next with when it comes to my daughter. we never talk.
i recently saw he is now engaged, to a girl who graduated in 2011. his parents just disowned their only grandchild.
ive had a BAD couple weeks, and i just got pissed off quite extensively right now.
im STRUGGLING. as a single mom. with a relationship, with my job. with finding a sitter, with college, with my nearly non existent family... and i got mad at the picture of him with his soon to be wife... its like, WHY THE FUCK does he get to be so happy looking?... but I WANT TO BE HAPPY. i want facebook pictures of me actually happy. I want someone there for me too... ive been alone a long time really now... (again im not jealous or missing him or wanting him back) but i carried TWO babies that were his... and he never wanted to marry me. and i see him every day in my daughters face... who is in 3-4 different places every week because of sitting issues. no one has ever wanted to marry me truly. only the sickos trying to create the fantasy after the first date about running away and marrying.

alot of shit in my life right now.. i just want to explode. he has only even seen his daughter 3 times. THREE.
she is nearly 4 years old. he lives 5 minutes down the road. and he gets taxes this year!!!
i knwo there are worse stories out there... but im just irritated beyond my limits right now with this crap.

ok. sorry for the rant. ha. had to put it somewhere :)

Missmom75 09/26/2012

wow you got yourself a real winner there, huh? lol
Aren't you glad you're not the soon to be wife?
What a loser. 5 minutes down teh road and only seen his kid 3 times. Good riddance, no?

deleted_user 09/26/2012

Thank God you are not with this AssClown!! Oh, I get it! We know the truth of who they are and yet they have managed, once again, to deceive and blind another woman into believing they are the stuff of dreams...We know better, dear...THEY ARE THE STUFF OF NIGHTMARES. My heart goes out to the fiance, she is in for a lot of heartache.....look for her in this forum in years to come!!

YOU, on the other hand are an Amazing Woman!! Look at all that you are doing. It is nothing short of miraculous that you/we have, not only extricated ourselves from these leeches, but that we are Thriving and Growing and Building Wonderful Lives. Your Happiness is and will be REAL and PERMANENT...his is only a temporary illusion.

deleted_user 09/26/2012

Its really just all a show. Facebook is a social network to show people ONLY the happy times. And who really wants to show bad times unless they just want attention... I say stick in there. The outcome is that you are doing all that you can do at the moment and for him... He will always live with the fact that he isn't a MAN. Its not hard to have a relationship with your own children if he truly cared. I look at you and see a strong woman. My mom went through the same thing with my real dad. So just like my mom, you too will be happy.

deleted_user 09/26/2012

Dracona, I live 5 minutes from my Narc boyfriend (soon to be ex - ha!) and I can relate to what you are saying. And those things you said are the IMAGE IT IS *RIGHT NOW* - just wait a bit - the image will fade. It's a mathematical certainty because men like him rarely change. They are in their "honeymoon" phase right now. DON'T FORGET that Narcs MUST be aggressive about being with someone else FAST. They are not strong enough like we are to stand alone and choose NOT to do whatever it takes even lie and manipulate to be with a man. Surely you could be getting married right now if you played the same game your Narc does - but that is NOT REAL. You are willing to take the slower, more real route. And it takes time.

One thing I am doing right now that is helping me to get back to my light is to LOVE MYSELF. I started anti-depressants and OH MY GOD is it helping curb the distress! I am exercising to feel stronger. I highlighted my hair for the first time. I feel just much much better than I did weeks ago when I was just focused on how I am worse off than everyone.

Is there anything you can do today to make YOURSELF feel better?

I KNOW how hard it is not to check his facebook, but girl I know the BURN of it when you do. TRY your hardest to focus the MOST on your life because anytime you check his facebook it will do this to you. I had to force myself to abstain cause it just made me feel miserable.

deleted_user 09/28/2012

I am a lone parent also, with no family nearby. And it is HARD. I have tried to get a yoga class for literally YEARS, to fit in with work and child care (I live quite rurally). I am also very short of money (due to my last relationship disaster). BUT, as your children get older it will get easier in some ways - you will have more time to spend on yourself. And yes, what kind of man only sees his own child 3 times, in 4 years?

Dracona 09/29/2012

Thanks alot ladies. i know he is just a dooshbag, not a man, not anything or worth my time. i check his facebook, cause it gives me an idea of what he is doing, and where he works so i can tell the child support division when he tells them he doesnt work. it just pisses me off from time to time. while i see him driving around town without a care in the world while im wondering if im going to be able to find a sitter before work that day,OR make enough at work to pay her. just had to rant about it. it usually doesnt get to me anymore, but on this occassion it did. I just had a fight with my N mother today... and well, once im done with school and can afford to move, i believe i will do so. i hear harvard has a special program for those with a high gpa coming from out of state, maybe i will aim high and try to go there :). i just want away from all of them. not running from my problems, but moving away to start new, without all the reminders of all the crap ive went through my whole life in front of me. im tired of jumping over hurdles. but thank you for taking the time to read my rant, and thank you so much for the support. sometimes each other is all we have on this little online world we have going on.

deleted_user 09/29/2012

Aim High. You deserve it.

Join the Conversation