Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
Hi all,
So I have read this book in the past but obviously by not actually doing the work the behaviors for me have contiued. I have been through more men than I care to disclose and all of the sae behaviors since I was 8. I had been alone for 15 years and in my head I was an empoered woman who was in control, until I met a man that lived up to my old delusional behaviors of being clingy, nedy, communicating what I wasn't being given and how this man started out so affectionate and telling me how muc he loved me after a month! well I knew in my heart of hearts there was something wrong with that, but that addict in me, the little girl now an older lady just ignored it, justified it and proceeded. My actions were so typical of my obsession I am blown away. I want to stop the madness! I actually flew to be with this person after only two meets and a call everyday on the phone. I would say I hit rock bottom on the east coast while traveling in his RV. On July 4th I relized The arguing, his treating me so disresectully, the super aggressive behavior and sex and then after a few weeks just nothing kind or affectionate, and his drinking, I was in New orleans with him and anotther couple who was rolling in their rv with us to go all through the east coast that i couldn't tolerate the behavior anymore and I deserved better. I left. I flew home. Although I made that move, what I have experienced after that is all the behaviors of obsession, pining, blaming him, me, not being good enouogh, only if. That's when I realized i needed to read that book again. What i realized through reading this book again is that I was like a dry drunk and still very much a love too much addict. I want to heal, i want to change these behaviors. Not that I will ever meet someone again but if I do I need to know how to have a healthy perspective to not keep doing the same stuff. I need this group and what to get better. Lost and found on the East/West Coast
This group generally undergoes ebbs and flows in terms of group participation--including my own, though I've been coming to the main forum more often as I, too, have felt the need to touch base with others who struggle with codependency.
First off, hats off to you for leaving this dysfunctional relationship--(bows). You talk about feeling discouraged that you got into such a relationship at this point in your life, but I applaud you for recognizing this and leaving it. It also sounds like you realize that you are going to be pining for what you lost, as it IS a loss, even though this dude was totally unsuitable for ANY type of romantic relationship, since his default was selfishness. He sounds like his sex education was primarily porn. So ugh. Unfortunately this is the default for most men today, though there are a few good ones who recognize the toxicity of this. Google non-toxic men to find a good baseline for a man with a healthy mindset .
Travelling with someone is pretty much the litmus test for determining a person's character. So the fact that you went on a road trip with this dude possibly saved you a lot of time in determining his true character (I googled this one time after a particularly disasterous road trip I had with a significant other). Road trips can either solidify or break apart a relationship. There are other signs, as well, though. Usually a guy will try to get into your space
I wish you peace of mind as you re-group and stablize after this traumatic experience. Hoping to see you on this forum again,
Artgrrl