Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
Many of you here already know my story. (See "Confused", my first post, 11/25/11.) I just want to share with everyone a "cryptic" email I received from my N today. This is the first direct contact I have received from him since he "left" 3 weeks ago. (I must point out that NOT ONCE did I contact him. I only mailed to him the tickets he speaks of, along with his apartment key - NO NOTE WAS ENCLOSED.) Following is his email to me, verbatim:
"Sorry some things ain't workin' out & won't work out. Not sure what the push meant, but there are a few other "Yellow Lights" that I was a little timid to get into. Yellow lights never turn green....just RED. Think it's good that life goes on.......we've both been there before. You sent the tickets back so I know you're not interested in going out with me. Is there anything else that I should expect in the mail? I might have to ask for a bigger box. If you'd like me to pick up anything, let me know, even if you wanna leave it in the hallway. Just let me know, & again, I'm sorry......." (BTW, he typed the word "Sorry" in the Subject line.)
I am not a mental health professional, but I can see right through his pathetic attempt at an apology. He is trying like hell to seduce me back into his web of deceitfulness and emotional cruelty. I must admit, this email scares me a little. (I have no idea what the word "push" refers to in my N's email; however, I am struck by his capitalization of the word "red.") Apparently, he's not used to losing at the control game, so I can only imagine what kind of revenge he has planned for me in his warped mind, The "anything else" that he is referring to is a massive collection of CDs and DVDs that he left at my apartment. I will mail them to him, WITHOUT A NOTE. And, most importantly, I WILL NOT EVEN RESPOND TO HIS EMAIL!! I've managed to survive Round One of his abuse. I am NOT going back for Round Two.
I would really appreciate your feedback on this, for I need to be stronger than ever now.
Thank you!
"Sorry some things ain't workin' out & won't work out. Not sure what the push meant, but there are a few other "Yellow Lights" that I was a little timid to get into. Yellow lights never turn green....just RED. Think it's good that life goes on.......we've both been there before. You sent the tickets back so I know you're not interested in going out with me. Is there anything else that I should expect in the mail? I might have to ask for a bigger box. If you'd like me to pick up anything, let me know, even if you wanna leave it in the hallway. Just let me know, & again, I'm sorry......." (BTW, he typed the word "Sorry" in the Subject line.)
I am not a mental health professional, but I can see right through his pathetic attempt at an apology. He is trying like hell to seduce me back into his web of deceitfulness and emotional cruelty. I must admit, this email scares me a little. (I have no idea what the word "push" refers to in my N's email; however, I am struck by his capitalization of the word "red.") Apparently, he's not used to losing at the control game, so I can only imagine what kind of revenge he has planned for me in his warped mind, The "anything else" that he is referring to is a massive collection of CDs and DVDs that he left at my apartment. I will mail them to him, WITHOUT A NOTE. And, most importantly, I WILL NOT EVEN RESPOND TO HIS EMAIL!! I've managed to survive Round One of his abuse. I am NOT going back for Round Two.
I would really appreciate your feedback on this, for I need to be stronger than ever now.
Thank you!
Sorry isnt in a N's dictionary and he doesn't mean it, so you are correct. By him throwing out there getting rid of his stuff that is his manipulative way of trying to make contact. YOU NEED NO CONTACT. Ignore him at all cost, just put his stuff out the door or just get rid of it. No CD or material item is worth you seeing him again. Be strong girl and know that you will get through this and its great that you know him enough to tell those of us.... I KNOW WHAT HE'S UP TOO. He has lost control and he is uncomfortable, more reason to stay away. I hope Im help'n ya. Please just stay away from him. I came so close to giving him the control again, its not worth it. Hugs
Thank you, again, ladies! (((HUGS)))
If he continues to email you, you can always block him from your email or text if you have a smart phone.