Because you were never able to change your parents/guardians/ into the warm loving caretakers you longed for and needed to teach you, you respond deeply to the familiar type of emotionally unavailable man, whom you can again try to change through your love. whatever was wrong or missing in the past, is what you are trying to make turn out right in the present. Something very self defeating and destructive is going on. it would be ok if we brought our compassion and understanding into a relationship with a healthy individual, where our own needs have a chance of being met. But we are not attracted to healthy men who would give us what we need. They seem boring, and we pass them by without a second glance. we are attracted to men who reciprocate the struggle from the past. We will do anything to prove our love.
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