Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
From my personal journal the other day...
Maybe im wrong, maybe im not. Im so scared of being like them… so scared of reacting badly, thinking I am in the right when truly my perception is warped.
That’s it. Truth seeker. Warped perception. Always worried if what is see is the truth or not, or if I am in the wrong because I want so much for the truth to be told and known. I spin around in my head a lot with this, trying to see myself from an outside perspective. When in my heart I know that it doesn’t matter, all that should matter IS what I perceive. Because everyone is different… and all you can do is add yours into the mix, wrong or right. You cant fault them for it, and you shouldn’t fault yourself. If I can learn this and truly feel it, then maybe somehow I can truly forgive. If I can believe that no one is wrong or right… it just is, and no matter what they do to me, to hurt me or otherwise… I cannot fault them for their own perception, less I not have one of my own.
Even those who think they are right in hurting me.
And I need to accept that sometimes I hurt people. That everyone hurts someone sometime. I need to be able to forgive myself for it, and rid myself of this fear of hurting others simply to sacrifice my own happiness. If Im not happy… I cant sacrifice that to make them happy.
The idea i get about this is... if somehow i can truly believe this, then it renders all neutral, and simply natural. easy to accept. as acceptance is something we all struggle with. i hope this helps someone.
Maybe im wrong, maybe im not. Im so scared of being like them… so scared of reacting badly, thinking I am in the right when truly my perception is warped.
That’s it. Truth seeker. Warped perception. Always worried if what is see is the truth or not, or if I am in the wrong because I want so much for the truth to be told and known. I spin around in my head a lot with this, trying to see myself from an outside perspective. When in my heart I know that it doesn’t matter, all that should matter IS what I perceive. Because everyone is different… and all you can do is add yours into the mix, wrong or right. You cant fault them for it, and you shouldn’t fault yourself. If I can learn this and truly feel it, then maybe somehow I can truly forgive. If I can believe that no one is wrong or right… it just is, and no matter what they do to me, to hurt me or otherwise… I cannot fault them for their own perception, less I not have one of my own.
Even those who think they are right in hurting me.
And I need to accept that sometimes I hurt people. That everyone hurts someone sometime. I need to be able to forgive myself for it, and rid myself of this fear of hurting others simply to sacrifice my own happiness. If Im not happy… I cant sacrifice that to make them happy.
The idea i get about this is... if somehow i can truly believe this, then it renders all neutral, and simply natural. easy to accept. as acceptance is something we all struggle with. i hope this helps someone.
forget the past, it is as it was and will not change. think only of the now, and make it the best now i can, because the future isnt suposed to exist. i spend too much time daydreaming on what i will do, and how things will end up, than actually doing it.
I read this and it makes me think of the traits us WWLTM have. The one that really sticks out for me is that we score very high for tolerance. We tolerate bad behavior because we endlessly question our own perceptions of things. I know this has been the case for me.
I also recall a post rayvyn made about the two strongest emotions that shape our perceptions and reactions are fear and love. I want to let go of the fear (of losing control, of being hurt, of being accepted/abandoned) and replace it with coming from a place of love. While I have not yet totally realized it for myself, I have come to believe that until we let go of the fear, we'll never know peace. I continue to see glimpses of it ... and it feels right.
As I read your posts I can sense your struggles and I can relate! For me, I'm learning to forgive myself for decisions I've made and trying to use them as opportunities to learn and grow.
I think you need to be gentle with your beautiful, caring and compassionate self.
This is my journey right now, and as I read your posts these things came to my mind.
Love,
Patty