Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
Sorry i havent been around much, been kinda a little depressed, in a very blah space out type of mood.
seems nothing makes me happy lately, or i seem to have a lack of emotions going on. Trying to figure out how to change my life, because i am not happy now, however, i dont know what to change my life to. i just seem to exist. Things that should feel important, dont feel like anything. its like im just watching time fly by as a bystander to my life. so its hard to make decisions. im constantly tired. i need to nip this in the butt before school starts.
i think part of it is my relationship. im slowly getting to the point where it has to end. i want to feel important.
i know he loves me, but i want someone to think of me, to go out of their way to do things for me.
i just cant seem to end it. because my relationship is extremely safe. nice guy. no drama, no guessing games.
but there is laziness. lack of consideration. messiness. and difference of character between us. its getting to be too much. i want more. maybe i will always want more, and will spend my life always searching for that more.
maybe nothing ever will be good enough. but at least when im searching there are points where i am happy or have a goal in mind. i want another baby someday. probably within the next 5 years max. this may not be possible in my current relationship, because he just shows a lack of responsibility in finances. he doesnt want to pay his old debts. and it seems he is always so short. we make about the same, and i have a gambling problem lol, and more bills than he does, and somehow i make it. plus i buy alot of the food. i keep track, he doesnt. and when i tell him how much he owes, he doesnt think he owes it, and i have to break it down month after month. i know some of this is repeating myself, and some of you had read this before.
i just want something more than what i have right now. which is strange because im actually at a high point in my life. i just bought a new car, the nicest ive ever owned. i have a beautiful daughter. im going to start college. i have a bed, and couch, and TV, and food in the fridge. i should be happy in this moment. but im not.
seems nothing makes me happy lately, or i seem to have a lack of emotions going on. Trying to figure out how to change my life, because i am not happy now, however, i dont know what to change my life to. i just seem to exist. Things that should feel important, dont feel like anything. its like im just watching time fly by as a bystander to my life. so its hard to make decisions. im constantly tired. i need to nip this in the butt before school starts.
i think part of it is my relationship. im slowly getting to the point where it has to end. i want to feel important.
i know he loves me, but i want someone to think of me, to go out of their way to do things for me.
i just cant seem to end it. because my relationship is extremely safe. nice guy. no drama, no guessing games.
but there is laziness. lack of consideration. messiness. and difference of character between us. its getting to be too much. i want more. maybe i will always want more, and will spend my life always searching for that more.
maybe nothing ever will be good enough. but at least when im searching there are points where i am happy or have a goal in mind. i want another baby someday. probably within the next 5 years max. this may not be possible in my current relationship, because he just shows a lack of responsibility in finances. he doesnt want to pay his old debts. and it seems he is always so short. we make about the same, and i have a gambling problem lol, and more bills than he does, and somehow i make it. plus i buy alot of the food. i keep track, he doesnt. and when i tell him how much he owes, he doesnt think he owes it, and i have to break it down month after month. i know some of this is repeating myself, and some of you had read this before.
i just want something more than what i have right now. which is strange because im actually at a high point in my life. i just bought a new car, the nicest ive ever owned. i have a beautiful daughter. im going to start college. i have a bed, and couch, and TV, and food in the fridge. i should be happy in this moment. but im not.
As you are going back to college soon maybe that will give you an outlet for some of your frustrations and put you in contact with groups to provide some sort of"excitement" that does not involve a love interest. Just a thought......xxx
I mean I know things seem to be overwhelming on your mind right now. What I want to point out is, the fact you recognize you WANT BETTER.
Women can find it easy to stay in a safe place, just because we have expereinced horrible place always living on the edge.
I was physically abused in my life, so it would be easy for me to throw my desires out the door and stay in a safe relationship...even if I'm not happy, because it's "SAFE".
Ask yourself this...is this safe mentally and emotionally "safe"? When I think of this "safe place" does it make me desire to go back to it, when your day ends?
Im sending you well wishes and thoughts as you make some hard decision. After all you have been through, you deserve to be not only, "safe", but significate, happy, and everything your heart desire.
I can be safe in this house, but if other things are not a contributing factor, Ill be a safe unhappy woman.
WELCOME BACK, YOU WERE MISSED!!!!!!!!
What I heard you saying is that you feel a bit taken advantage of by your current "safe" guy. You feel unsatisfied too, but that may be becuase you are feeling being taken advantage of. Just becuase he is "safe" doesn't mean you are a match...you have to know what values are important to you and if his values don't match yours then perhaps he is not the life long mate you wanted, even though he maybe safe. That is just my take on it...might mean nothing! Sorry to hear you are non feeling right now...sometimes I get like that when I'm angry but shoving it down...
ive been meaning to read women who love psychopaths, just havent gone to the bookstore. and i really am hoping college will be an outlet for me to focus on, and enable me to make a confident decision. i know what i would do if i was someone else, i just have to figure out how to do it as myself, and deal with my emotions about it. i cant let them overwhelm me, for my sake, and more for my daughters sake. i have to be stable. and i dont know how i would feel if this all came to pass. it is safe here, at the end of the day do i want to come here? i always feel safe here, and i dont not want to come here, but i am hardly ever waiting in anticipation, to come home and spend time with him as a family, because he will just be on the computer when i get there. i dont think he is taking advantage of me, but i think that he is extremely forgetful, and just unaware, and doesnt realize his surroundings or a timeline. he just lives in the moment. and has this philosophy that every thing will work out, dont worry. if he lived the rest of his life the way it is now, he would be happy. he lives this way to an extreme almost. he is TOO RELAXED an laid back.
thanks IMWHOLE, i am in fact, a safe, unhappy woman. i feel there is no creativity in this relationship.
it just is. I dont think he is right for me...
Honestly, I'm not surprised you attached yourself to something safe. This may sound horrible, but I had the oppotunity to do safe and unhappy, but I wasn't physically attracted to him.
He will take me now, however, he has issues that I DON"T LIKE, and he is not a sociopath. He will treat me like a lady vrs cursing me out. So in my eyes it equivalant to being unhappy period.
Dracona, if it aint working, it aint working. You just have to find the courage to leave.
I know the issues that you face that comes with leaving. However, I really think you don't ultimatly leave because you don't him to feel abandoned. You know first hand how it is to be dumped
Im here for you, as you have been here for us
i turned him down a few times. then, when my whole family left me, when my friends left me in the hospital, he came, he was there, he was the only one there. and i thought that was what i needed. someone who would be there when i needed them. so i said yes, even if i didnt have any strong emotions towards him.
sure, i love him. but im not IN love with him. i love him because he is a great person. he is kind and caring and genuine. he is solid. but i dont think we can go further. im not exited about our future, and i should be.