Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
First off hi to everyone.Just wanting to vent that its now 2 weeks today since the text messages of XN and myself.I think I might have mentioned that I had just moved states to another job.I have been feeling really unsettled in this new place that it is just not me.I didn't have this feeling at the last place so I have spoken to family and friends who have suggested that maybe I need to base myself back home for a month or so before taking up another position as the last 6 months I worked in quite a remote place knowing no one or having any family.I felt that I needed the rawness of that to truly look deep inside myself as part of my journey to healing.There was no one else to run too.I believed it helped me but this place im in now im feeling lonely and have bad energy from it and I cannot explain it.My mind is running overtime with thoughts of what to do.I don't have thoughts at the moment of wanting to contact XN but maybe too long here I cannot answer if I will succumb to a few drinks too many and break and I so do not want to do that.I think im missing home.
it's going to be hard for anyone here to make suggestions about where you should live. i think you should follow your gut. if drinking is ultimately the reason you make contact with him i would change that up, set yourself up for success. or is that just an excuse to contact him?? just because you have a few drinks doesn't mean you have to drive. and it doesn't mean you have to contact him.
2 weeks is a wonderful start!!! so you have this problem that you WILL solve when the time is right. it's not something you can suddenly change in the moment. try to realize that your obsessive brain is what is causing you agony and contacting him would release those chemicals that would make it feel better again. so you're up against a big bad machine.....can you write in here more often??? maybe something under the thread pain tolerance can help you...give yourself ways to cope besides drinking.....
if you absolutely know you will contact him when you drink do not drink.....it's part of rationalization your brain is scattering right now trying to come up with good excuses to contact him... 2 weeks was my limit for a long long time. push past it!! you can do this....set yourself up for success. be proactive and make a plan!!!! a plan that would work that you could stick to.
what are you willing to do to not contact him?? start with what you've got. whatever that is is okay.....no judgment of yourself. tell us what you're starting with and we can help you make a plan if you get stuck........ if you leave up to the fairies to decide for you you will most likely drink and contact him soon......
you're doing great!! 2 weeks is 2 weeks!
and wanting to move on and push forward goes a loooooooong loooooooooong way!! most of us feel so mixed about that when we get here.....you're right life is too short.