Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
Hi all, I'm Shannon and just found out this group was here. It's perfect for me!
I actually just read the book "women who love too much" and completely related.
I suffer from depression, anxiety, low self esteem, and I certainly don't love myself the way I should. I'm a work in progress so to speak; because of this I have entered into the dating world without truly knowing what I wanted and just wanting attention and love. I guess to compensate for my lack of self worth. I met my husband and our first date was pretty good. He was a gentleman, had 1 beer with dinner and payed for everything. At the end of the date we hugged and planned on meeting again. Date #2.....major red flags!!! Yet I still stayed and didn't leave right then and there like I probably should have. Let's see....we both lived in walking distance too the city and we met up at Starbucks in the afternoon. Probably 4is. He was drunk. Not just a little, but visibly impaired, staggering a little and beer was emanating from his pores I swear. He's all apologetic saying I'm so sorry, my buddy was over and I was nervous about our date and he got me drunk. Ok, well I was nervous too but I'm sober! Anyway we got some coffees, walked to the park and beach and the fresh air and coffee helped sober him up. I remember sitting on a log talking for a few hours and the conversation was nice and flowed and not awkward. I remember having to pee and we were fairly close to my place so we walked there and I went to the bathroom. We decided to keep the date going and planned to watch a movie. He wanted to be at his place though because he had to be up early for work in the am. So we took the bus to his place and had dinner and put on a movie. We started making out and he led me to the bedroom and we ended up having sex. No condom! I can't believe how irresponsible I was. I stayed over, we had sex again in the wee hours and he drove me home before going to work. I did get herpes from him and I had genital warts from a previous partner so we shared.
We moved in together after 4-5 months and engaged on our 1 year anniversary. It was so un romantic too...I came home from work and he was drinking and "celebrating" our 1 year. He held out a ring box and I took it and opened it. I said thank you, it's beautiful. I asked what it meant? He's like whatever you want, we can be engaged if you want....and that was that. We talked about 3somes one day, maybe experimenting. He was very experienced sexually and watched a lot of porn and jerked off a lot and was in orgies in previous years. Well one day I was at work and he called my work, clearly drunk saying he brought someone home for us. Ummm I was speechless, didn't really want that. I couldn't talk and he was getting pissed off. I called him after work and was like I'm supposed to be going to my sisters birthday dinner. He's like I made this happen, blah blah blah you get home. I'm crying, shaking but I go home to him. And he's brought home a tranny. Whatever, I'm not judging. I call my parents and lie about not being able to come for dinner and then apologize to my sister. Then I come out and my bf is sleeping! I'm left alone with this person and so uncomfortable. He eventually woke up and we did things I'm so ashamed of. I didn't want it, but I was afraid of making my bf mad.
He would break things if I got mad at him for drinking and would say mean things. I've put up with all of this now for nearly 7 years. There are good times in between and now he's a truck driver gone most of the time. I'm negative and depressed and it's bringing him down. Well look at what I've had to deal with. Now I'm drinking, not like he was, but I use alcohol to fill the hole. We suck at communicating and with money and yes I'm grateful to have a good job, a roof over my head, a car, great friends and family but now I'm in a sexless marriage trying to make it work because I'm part of the problem. As I'm writing this I'm in disbelief with what I've allowed to happen because I was afraid of being alone. How different my life could be right now if I just walked away from that 2nd date. If I'd learned to respect myself in the body I have now and be comfortable single. Be confident. I'm trying, but I fear it's too late
I actually just read the book "women who love too much" and completely related.
I suffer from depression, anxiety, low self esteem, and I certainly don't love myself the way I should. I'm a work in progress so to speak; because of this I have entered into the dating world without truly knowing what I wanted and just wanting attention and love. I guess to compensate for my lack of self worth. I met my husband and our first date was pretty good. He was a gentleman, had 1 beer with dinner and payed for everything. At the end of the date we hugged and planned on meeting again. Date #2.....major red flags!!! Yet I still stayed and didn't leave right then and there like I probably should have. Let's see....we both lived in walking distance too the city and we met up at Starbucks in the afternoon. Probably 4is. He was drunk. Not just a little, but visibly impaired, staggering a little and beer was emanating from his pores I swear. He's all apologetic saying I'm so sorry, my buddy was over and I was nervous about our date and he got me drunk. Ok, well I was nervous too but I'm sober! Anyway we got some coffees, walked to the park and beach and the fresh air and coffee helped sober him up. I remember sitting on a log talking for a few hours and the conversation was nice and flowed and not awkward. I remember having to pee and we were fairly close to my place so we walked there and I went to the bathroom. We decided to keep the date going and planned to watch a movie. He wanted to be at his place though because he had to be up early for work in the am. So we took the bus to his place and had dinner and put on a movie. We started making out and he led me to the bedroom and we ended up having sex. No condom! I can't believe how irresponsible I was. I stayed over, we had sex again in the wee hours and he drove me home before going to work. I did get herpes from him and I had genital warts from a previous partner so we shared.
We moved in together after 4-5 months and engaged on our 1 year anniversary. It was so un romantic too...I came home from work and he was drinking and "celebrating" our 1 year. He held out a ring box and I took it and opened it. I said thank you, it's beautiful. I asked what it meant? He's like whatever you want, we can be engaged if you want....and that was that. We talked about 3somes one day, maybe experimenting. He was very experienced sexually and watched a lot of porn and jerked off a lot and was in orgies in previous years. Well one day I was at work and he called my work, clearly drunk saying he brought someone home for us. Ummm I was speechless, didn't really want that. I couldn't talk and he was getting pissed off. I called him after work and was like I'm supposed to be going to my sisters birthday dinner. He's like I made this happen, blah blah blah you get home. I'm crying, shaking but I go home to him. And he's brought home a tranny. Whatever, I'm not judging. I call my parents and lie about not being able to come for dinner and then apologize to my sister. Then I come out and my bf is sleeping! I'm left alone with this person and so uncomfortable. He eventually woke up and we did things I'm so ashamed of. I didn't want it, but I was afraid of making my bf mad.
He would break things if I got mad at him for drinking and would say mean things. I've put up with all of this now for nearly 7 years. There are good times in between and now he's a truck driver gone most of the time. I'm negative and depressed and it's bringing him down. Well look at what I've had to deal with. Now I'm drinking, not like he was, but I use alcohol to fill the hole. We suck at communicating and with money and yes I'm grateful to have a good job, a roof over my head, a car, great friends and family but now I'm in a sexless marriage trying to make it work because I'm part of the problem. As I'm writing this I'm in disbelief with what I've allowed to happen because I was afraid of being alone. How different my life could be right now if I just walked away from that 2nd date. If I'd learned to respect myself in the body I have now and be comfortable single. Be confident. I'm trying, but I fear it's too late
The first thing I would say is it is *never* too late to change your life. No matter how old you are, you have time left to live and every second of it matters. Every change you make matters, no matter how small. In fact, it is the small daily changes that usually lead to the most transformation over time.
I have a shed load of issues myself so just to say Hi and sending you a hug from the UK.
xxx