Happy Friday to you! What helps me steer clear of negative thoughts and ruminating is actively giving gratitude. I literally give thanks, out loud - to everything and everyone that gives me pleasure and joy. I try to do the things I really want to do as much as possible. A good meal, a good book, a good hike, a good nap. I find that when I slip and fall back into what ifs or why me's - it's because I got lazy. It's a crucial time for us, we have to be on top of not letting ourselves go, not feeding our brains with things that don't serve us and our healing.
I'm with you belle :) xo

Awesome points Missmom75!!! I too get lazy and stop working my plan! That is exactly what it is!!

It's actively being aware of your thoughts and not letting them morph into a vicious loop. I do that and I'm quite the expert, actually ;).
It is so dangerous...

Happy Friday to you both, although it is Saturday here in NZ already.

I think you said it Missmom, it is being aware of your thoughts and being grateful..

And Belle, all the best with the big move. Hope you have good time wine tasting too:)

Last night was a lot tougher than it has been for a while. I stayed on track by listening to music and then taking the time to update my blog. I wrote about my realisation that I am a nurturer/carer at heart and that all I ever wanted was a family of my own. While I haven't had much sucess in finding the right person to play "daddy", I appreciate the family I do have in my son and two cats....

The auction for my dream house is tomorrow afternoon. I have done as much preparation as I could possibly do. And I have purposefully kept myself from getting too attached to the house. If it comes under the price I have worked out, I will buy it, otherwise I am walking away...It is a very scary thing to do, right outside of my comfort zone. But I am determined to go through it because I have always lived a "no regrets" kind of life.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Good luck with the auction, lucidak! You have the right attitude.
I recognize myself in you - I am a nurturer/caregiver. It has been my role since I was 3.5 years old and my first brother was born. It is all I know how to do. All I ever really wanted to have happen was to have a family of my own. I only have a cat for the time being but am hopeful. I refuse to change who I am and how much I care but I am committed to not allowing my nature to HARM me again. To not lose control. To not give more than I can afford in terms of emotions, finances, energy, etc. I need to learn to save most for myself and share what I can but not at the expense of myself. I need to be in a healthy relationship that if it were to end -I would miss the person but my whole damn world doesn't fall apart!! Learning learning...ever so slowly.

Happy weekend all!
Great post--I, too, find that being grateful is a good way to living a peaceful life. Also, detach detach! That is a big thing for me lately--knowing when to let go,. Really--the Serenity Prayer sums it up. As co-dependents, we tend to be reactionary, tuning in to the emotions of everyone around us, Detaching means that we trust that others will find the solutions to their problems or issues on their own, without our interfering.

And yes--you are so right, belle--knowing that the whole world won't fall apart if that relationship ends. It takes trust in the unknown, doesn't it?

xoxo

I love all this love and support. You ladies are amazing ♥

Happy friday everyone. The weekends scare me. I have security in knowing what to do during the week. Work and several meetings and maybe a movie. The weekends are up for grabs. This is when I get into the crazy thoughts. I have not developed any outlets that I like to do. I like to camp but that season is mostly over. I like to run, but have not had the desire. I used to paint 20 years ago, before my kids were born. I was very good at it. My father told me that artists never make it and you will starve, so I never really went after that.

This weekend though there is a big convention on Saturday night and sunday morning. It is back in my home town so all my friends will be there. It will bring me a lot of joy. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO grateful to have that on the calendar this weekend as my hubby wants to get together on Sunday and let me know "where he is at!" I told him that if it means divorce or separation there is no need to meet in person that he can just e-mail me. As usual his vague response is that he will write me more tonight or tomorrow about his feelings and ya da ya da ya da. But no clear answer about working on the marriage or not. To be honest I think I really still love him but I am not sure it just isn't fear of being alone. I have no plans of moving back in with him any time soon at least. I put in an application for a house my son and I. Not living with the BF will help but is going to be hard to do. I was proud of myself for putting in the application. We will see if I even get approved. I will face that next step when it happens. You women inspire me to do better things. Thank you.