searching.....welcome to the forum. 7 years is a long time to have abandoned yourself. i'm so glad to see you're reaching out for support you will need to rebuild your life.

i know nothing about him but he sounds more than emotionally distant if he is not responding to your calls and texts. that is called withholding and it 's not nice. he know you suffer from separation?? and he's still with holding in that way???? not nice.

so dear, it's time to take your life back. it's time to stand up on your own two feet and take your power back. end the victimization and find your way to a relationship that is fulfilling for you both. that is nurturing and loving and not distant and cold and emotionally unavailable. whether you know this right now or not you are worthy of that.

it's going to be hard and painful. ...you will probably be faced head on with grief. but you have to know that you can get through this.

7 years is a long time be gentle with yourself. you can feel t aht madly in love feeling again with someone who reciprocates those feelings........

have you read the book women who love too much?? codependent no more by melodie beattie and right away you can go to www.baggagereclaim.com and start reading about assclowns. see what fits for you b/c educating yourself on what's really been going for 7 years is part of this process.

If you are anything like me it will have to be over to be over. Thinking that you are learning to live without him will only add more time to your pain. The book women who love too much is a great book. Maybe you could check out divorce care groups. They are all over and doesnt matter if you were married. The group will help go thru all the pain.

Another book that helped me realize what kind of guy I was dealing with is "Mr. Unavailable and the Fallback Girl". I believe the author is the same woman who has www.baggagereclaim.com website.

hi, i'm still here....it's natalie lue the same author.....i love talking about ass clowns it makes me smile so much!

Thank you ladies for your responses. I am an advid reader and have read so many books on this subject. I really like Melody Beattie and am currently reading her book "Choices". I have been in therapy for a number of years. The reality is that I have been working really hard to find myself and move forward and I have made so much progress. That is why it amazes me that I can fall apart like I do. He finally said we had no future which are words I needed to hear because I believe that there was a small part of me that might have been hanging on to the hope. I know now that his behavior is not about me, We are not a couple and I have no right to expect him to talk to me every day or tell me what is going on in his life. The problem is that he is the only person near that I have had to talk to in a couple years and losing that is the hardest part. My anxiety is my problem. I get anxious and imagine the worse. We have talked and he has promised that while he may not always respond (not because he is avoiding me as I feared) but he will not abandon me. It is now up to me to continue to find my way and to stop leaning on him. To stop needing that daily contact. The hard part is that I can no longer afford to go to therapy more than once a month and my only other friend is hundreds of miles away and we have different schedules. So bottom line, I really appreciate you ladies who under stand how hard it is to let go but also how necessary it is are here to give me the encouragement when I have bad days.

Katie043 - I have looked for support groups but sadly the only one I found had no one attending.

Iamheretoo - I have that book on my Amazon Wish List :)

Finnmyway - I would love to discuss ass clowns with you, I can understand how it would make you smile :)

Letting him go doesn't mean you need to stop loving him. You can move on to find peace and joy in your life knowing you loved him as best you could. It's sad he can't let the love in. I was involved with a man like that. I still love him, recognize how I was so intense about wanting to connect with him, and finally accepting that my wanting things to work with him so badly pushed him even further away. I believe he loved me the best way he could. I believe, too, that if I contacted him again (it's been nearly three years since I went no contact), he would be open to me (he tried to reach me again within the past year). I want more, though. And I hope you do, too. I don't know what it will look like, to love and be loved in return. I think that will be precious. And I hope you will find that, too. In the meantime, we are here.