I completely agree, but how can we deal with depression when we can't even recognise it? I was diagnosed with depression two weeks ago and my therapist believes I've been living with it all my life. Lesson learnt: Deal with your feelings of hopelessness before they snowball and end up knocking you senseless.

I didnt know i was dealing with depression ither. or more so denied it. i had always thought of myself as a strong willed, self capable woman who could master anything. all of which is true, but there is a process i have to go through to be that woman. there are bumps in the road.
I saw "depressed" people in a bad light, therapy? not me Meds? not me, i didnt want to be seen as a "whiner"
I had thought depression was an Excuse for not dealing with life, because i had met quite a few people who were like, i cant work, im depressed, i cant do this, im depressed. I didnt want to be that person so i really avoided the depression issue. until i got tired of always feeling hopeless, alone, scatterbrained, cant get my life together, whats wrong with me? and why was i so damn attracted to these shitty men! and why did it feel so good to be with them, why was it so intense.
then i was humbled, i realized i was no better than anyone else. that i had my own problems, and that somethings, you cannot just "fix" on your own or quickly.

i was losing a sense of time, i was losing days, i was just floating through life. i could literally stare at a wall or ceiling for hours, or all day. this began to happen after i lost interest in men altogether for a while. after the last hit, i was done, i was incredibly heartbroken and confused. and began to just wonder around, until somehow, i ended up here.
i guess what im trying to say is, you are not alone, and you deal with it one day at a time. there is no "magic" that cures it. not even anti depressants. you FORCE yourself to get up, and do something you dont feel you will enjoy anymore. and that is harder than it sounds as you probably know. and you write about it.
i found that this site, and sites like these, with the open journaling, is better than just writing to myself in a journal. especially with problems like ours, cause it forces us to be open and honest with ourselves. which brings up hidden issues, and once you know what is causing something, you have better oppurtuniti to let it go.

You said it, 'losing sense'. It makes me angry to know that my abusers are living comfortably behind their so called rligious beliefs while I, a faithful christian struggles to maintain sanity, It often makes me question my own faith in God, which I hate, because He has been the only hope in my life.

Part of this also, is getting in touch with your spirituality. and learning to trust your spirituality again.
its not for me to say what that is. I myself am not christian, but i am a very spiritual person.
you have to find what works for you. and you are still here, and still hoping, so my dear, you have done something right. when i started this road, i questioned EVERYTHING. it can be a very confusing thing.

yeah sometimes its easier to focus on someone elses problems then you dont deal with your own some times, I mean honestly but you burn out and are depressed, so Im learning to take time for me,and not feel guilty,even if itsa few minutes doing something that I enjoy-hugz to all -Jayden

thats real great jayden, that was one of the hardest things for me to learn. i felt so guilty, i still do, when i take time for myself. its also hard to accept gifts from others. even something as simple as someone buying me lunch at mcdonalds. i would feel like i owe them greatly, and feel guilty. but if i pay, over and over again, i dont feel bad at all. i have to tell myself to just sit back and ACCEPT the kindness. that it is perfectly ok.
that i deserve a friend, or man, to do things for me.

I can agree with this. It seems like when I'm depressed I seek out something/someone different. I never related it to my depression but now I see how it fits.

i wish i was better at recognizing the onset of depression instead of pretending it is not happening until i am so ill that i am failing to function at all. after my body forces me to admit to the depression i usually have to sleep almost constantly for the next month because i am so burned out by doing way to much in an effort to deny the reality of my depression. i am now 4 months from having to surrender to my current bout of depression and thanks to the med and support i am getting am beginning to feel a bit human again and profusely appologising to family and friends about how ill i have been.

Another nail on the head.

i knew i was a drama addict, i knew i have clinical depression i never once till i read this made the connection that the drama seeking was a self medicating tool to deal with the depression. maybe that's why i recovered from the addiction only after i started the anti depression medication.

Wanted to bump this to the front...