Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
We want to fix people. we find chaotic situations, to keep from focusing on our own responsibilities.
we are very good at "knowing" what someone else feels or figureing out what someone else needs or should do.
we are not in touch with our own feelings and unable to make wise decisions when it comes to ourselves.
We really dont know who we are. being constantly enrolled in others problems keeps us from having to find out.
We may cry, and scream, and exhibit all emotions, but we lack the tools, and are unable to use our emotions to guide us in making important decisions in our lives.
we are very good at "knowing" what someone else feels or figureing out what someone else needs or should do.
we are not in touch with our own feelings and unable to make wise decisions when it comes to ourselves.
We really dont know who we are. being constantly enrolled in others problems keeps us from having to find out.
We may cry, and scream, and exhibit all emotions, but we lack the tools, and are unable to use our emotions to guide us in making important decisions in our lives.
deleted_user
So true. We need to learn to help ourselves before we can help others.
deleted_user
so very true, I call it broken wing syndrome,I can make it better , I can help,you give and give and then youre too spent to help yourself or to deal with your own needs-Jayden
Dracona
I think it also gives a great sense of accomplishment, when you actually do or can help someone, and see them become better, or go off to have a better life. even if you get burned in the process, the sacrifice seemed worth it. its good for people to help each other, but we seem to always find one way road situations, we give, they take, and never look back. we need to learn to look after our needs. and learn to have emotions, and empathy for ourselves.
deleted_user
totally agree with that one. helping others can make you feel needed and valuable even though in reality it is often a method i use to escape from having to look at my own emotions and needs. somehow i seem to be able to help and support others but am useless at really looking after myself and my needs and i guess my low self-esteem doesn't help much.
Dracona
most of us have extremely low self esteem, and often feel unworthy of the "positive" attention when someone tries to give it too us. so we seek out people with problems subconciously. it makes us feel not so low to see and be helping someone else's problems. we need to learn TO LOVE OURSELVES. and be SELFISH.
iheartmzb
i agree with all thse things. When i can help it is a good feeling. I am now wortwhile as if i'm not unless i'm fixing things. It's also a hook to keep people involved so they won't abandon me - at least while i'm helping them. The subsequent abandonment is all the more shocking. But even that i can use to justify feeling sorry for myself and talking negatively about myself "i'm so worthless". Also i see so clearly what others should do and have not a clue as to how to deal with my own life but if i deal with everybody else's i won't have the time anyway so i don't need to think about it. Denial and escape. And the things i see and try to fix in others are usually things i don't like in myself that i need to fix in me. I asked my therapist why i could see other's problems so clearly and not my own at all and he said "Eyeballs were made to look outwards." I thought that was good but it's also a means of avoidence. And i find most of the time people resent being told what to do, unasked advice and manipulation. They resent the control and it poisons the relationship. More abandonement. And if they take my advice and it goes badly then it's my fault and the blame iis devestating and sends me off on another pity party. I find it best to tend to my own side of the fence. I certainly have enough work to do here without looking around for more.
deleted_user
Wanted to bump this to the front...
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