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For the last 4 years my husband has been fighting with my son. It has gotten worse every day and it is driving my crazy. He talks to me like I am a child and then wonders why the kids talk to him like crap and then gets mad when they say "well that is how you talk to mom". I am not happy in my marriage anymore but can't leave either. I have no job, no car, no nothing and if I leave I would have to take my pets. I have two dogs, two cats, a snake and fish. He refuses to change and then makes me feel bad when I get mad. He tells me and my kids that we talk hate full if we get mad at him because he can dish it out but not take it in. I have been sleeping on the floor in the kids room just do I do not have to sleep next to him. I get daily speeches about how I am not interested in him anymore because I do not want to have sex with him.. Last year I told him he needed to go to get counseling for his anger but went there and told them he had ADHD and got pills. When I asked him when they were going to give him something for his anger he said they want to wait for a few months , well three months down the line he made more and more excuses of why they are not giving him the meds for his anger.. I am at my wits end with him and how he treats us. I have started to cope by drinking after the kids go to bed just so I can stand to be near him. My kids are made to stay upstairs when he is home and if I tell them to come down and watch t.v. or that they can play down stairs he gets REALLY mad about it. They best time of our days are when he is at work. What do I do and can my marriage be saved in any way shape or form?
1.Financial dependence is THE main reason why people (mostly women) stay in abusive relationships. The second most important reason is having common children with the abuser.
2.This is almost part of an abusive relationship.
It is common for an abuser to deny their spouse all access to money and debit or credit cards too.
The only answer I know is to go to a shelter, which is going to be terrible, but at least it will be a terrible place with some hope in it.
I know people who have left home for a shelter without even a handbag (because they couldn't get all the kids out together unless they left it behind). Someone else who left home with 3 kids, the clothes they stood up in and a 2 year old car.
Be inventive, take what you can. Sabotage your washing machine and take bags of "laundry" to a safe place. Save whatever money you can for as long as you can.
TAKE THE FAMILY CAR...and don't be afraid to fill the trunk with essentials, clothes, linen, pans, small appliances...because pretty soon you are going to have to spend precious money on replacing these things if you don't.
And know for sure, when you are in that shelter, which are often miserable, overcrowded places, that THE ONLY WAY IS UP.
3.I have had to educate myself. You need a plan. I am close to leaving after 17 years of abuse. I started by opening a bank account of my own, getting a po box, and credit of my own. I also got a storage and have started packing up things and moving stuff when he isn't around. I have taken things that he wouldn't miss..like clothes, pictures..just small stuff. I also started selling stuff on ebay and opened a paypal account to stash money. I put some stuff in a community auction last weekend and stash 500 bucks. You can have a garage sale to make some money. I work and have a decent job and have a small payroll deduction made to my new bank account. Just be smart and safe in what ever you decide to do.
4.Use your fury to gather waht you need. Everytime he makes you mad do something small. It is very empowering. i.ei Copy a birth certificate, copy 10 years worth of tax returns.
Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_does_one_finally_leave_a_verbally_abusive_relationship_when_she_has_no_money_or_place_to_go_a_children#ixzz1ShyF5Ryt
I don't know if you looked for any place for help in your area, but just in case here is a web site you can go to. www.womenshelters.org/cit/wv-parkersburg I hope this helps. Much love and luck to you *hugs*
Robin
Oh, I can send you some links of some places you might get emotional support that have been very helpful to me if you're interested.