Wives of Police Officers Community Group

A place for wives of police officers and their families to relate and support one another.

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Pinning

Fluteplayer24
Fluteplayer24

Me and my guy were recently talking about who gets to pin him if he's allowed to have someone do it. He wants a former advisor to do the honor, if he can't then he wants his mom since she has pinned him at all of his award ceremonies during explorers. While I understand where he's coming from, I can't help but feel that I'm being left out. I want to be able to be the person that pins him, either at graduation and/or whenever he gets promoted. I want him to have the memories of that special person doing it for him, but I want that person to be me. I want to be able to share that special moment with him. While we may all be a family and support him, at the end of the day, I'm going to be the one there all the time. I'm the one going to have to sleep in the bed alone and take care of the house so he can protect us and everybody else. I don't know, maybe I'm being selfish. However, hopefully, as a future LEO wife I want to be able to do these things for him and it makes me feel like I'm going to be left out on one of the biggest things that an LEO wife is able to share with their men. 

deputyfirewife
deputyfirewife
I am so sorry that you feel left out by your LEO. I would too, in your circumstance. I realize that this may be after the fact since your post is about six weeks old, but if that is the case, then this may help you in the future. Have you told him specifically how you feel? While we as women would like to think that the men who love us instinctively know how we feel, he isn't a mind reader. Men think about things in a vastly different way than women do and it simply may not have occurred to him that you might feel left out because he likely would not feel the same way. He's a guy, and guys think differently, often not sentimentally, and they are conditioned to love their mommas and put them first. I only know this because my husband of 27+ years and I have had similar conversations over the years. My husband has been a full-time firefighter paramedic for over 26 years, working at least 24 hours at a time and often mandatory 48 hour shifts. He is now a Sheriff Deputy in addition to the fire/medic position. He and I both learned, through trial and error, that he needed me to tell him how I feel, because he just didn't know. Now, over the years he has learned my patterns and I, his, but I still don't hesitate to let him know if I am needing something from him. I hope that this helps you, Fluteplayer24. I'll be thinking of you.