Hi blue17. Nice to meet you. I am a LEO wife as well. We have been married for 15 years and together for 24. I have been where you are and can definitely lend some encouragement. The best advice I can give is to take care of yourself. A happy you, equals being able to handle all the stressors that come from being married to a LEO.

Thank you! That is such a great advice! Self-care is so important. I definitely try however we have a six-month-old baby and that makes it a little hard at times. My husband was told he will be on night shifts for the next six months. The most he has been on night shifts has been 4 months and that was at the beginning of his career. I am dreading that so much and getting anxious at times. Did you experience loneliness with your husband's job? Was graveyard hard for you?

Hi Blue17. I read your post and realized you wrote it a year ago.

I (now) have a 4 yr old, a 3 year old, a 9 month old, and a baby on the way. Husband has been on nights for nearly 3 years, off and on, but his day stints have only been 2-3 month stints and the night stints are permanent.

Husband working nights screws with my head every once in a while, and can get lonely.

What I try to do is do things with the kids that are fun, as if my husband were around (but he's sleeping, in between his 12 hour shifts). I'm pretty limited in how much I can do because of how little and needy we all are, but somehow pull off ice cream trips, walks, visits to special places, etc. Again, these would all be things that I would normally do with my husband and would reserve it for him for his days off, but I just can't wait forever and keep the kids and myself bored while my husband sleeps. I just can't do it anymore.

So yeah, when my husband finds out we've gone to a very special outing (ie water park, shopping, touring, etc) without him, I'm not sure how he feels but I know he's happy for the kids and I was able to accomplish something by myself (albeit it I'm completely drained afterwards).

With my husband working the graveyard shift for so many years now our norm is that basically Daddy is gone. I also have very limited funds, no friends because we moved very far away recently, I've been unable to make new friends due to the children being so little and needy/hyper, but also anytime we're around other children we all get sick (I and one of my kids have a horrible immune system). Additionally I have no social media because of threats we've received from dangerous people, so I live an extremely isolated life. The kids are also too young for school which thankfully will change this year.

With my husband being practically gone for what feels like forever, I've learned to handle tools and repairs without him too.

I would at no point ever compare myself with a widow because widows deal with an intensely horrible grief. With that said, I have to hire out help or find a way to help myself and my kids because of my husband's regular absence. I've even had to make decisions by myself that should probably be made by both spouses.

Be strong. It isn't easy at all and requires an incredible amount of energy, resilience, and creativity. I also know that prayer at your loneliest moments can help keep you put together.

Hi so glad I found this site. I'm a policemans fiancé and I'm so bloody lonely