Hi I'm a "future" police wife. My boyfriend wants to be a cop. He is in the process of joining an academy however, he is also applying to be a teacher. We've been together 4 years and I am trying to be supportive but I don't want the police job to work out. I don't mean to be selfish but even the application process has been tough. Its been much easier for him to be a teacher and safer. Especially where we live. We haven't gotten married or had kids yet because this police process has been strenuous. I am a student but I'm also 29. I want to have kids and marry him but not to a cop. How can I change my perception? He's a great man. I love him with all of my heart. I want this to work. I want to join this group to learn to be supportive of him. To backtrack a little, I was in several relationships with cadets, correctional officer's & cops before we met. They all sucked. One guy left me for a co-worker after we miscarried and were planning to marry. The other left me to miscarry because he too was living a double life. One guy switched schedules so much I didn't know how things were even working out. They started out as good men but I watched them change. Although the past is the past, I swore off dating cops (ego, schedules, paranoid behavior etc). My bf wanted to be a teacher when we met not a cop. I feel like this is DejaVu and I love him but how do I support him knowing what's to come?
That's a tough situation. My bf of 3 years has been a cop for 1 year. What if you encouraged him to be a reserve officer? He could be a teacher full-time and be a reserve officer in his free time?
Hey there, I am so sorry to hear you've been treated so poorly in your relationships. I'd like to encourage you to talk to a counselor. I say that because you deserve to feel like you can assert yourself and communicate with your bf your concerns. He also needs to know how you feel so he can make a well informed decision. Because let me tell you - my wife has been on the streets for 2+ years now and we were about to separate because of it. You both need to take time to decide what you each want so that you can move forward with some peace and dignity. Whether that means supporting the man you love to do what he loves, or choosing to show yourself the love and support you want, but don't think you'll get from him once he is an LEO.
Good luck and best wishes to us all.
PS: I wish there was more support out there for us...
Good luck and best wishes to us all.
PS: I wish there was more support out there for us...