Hi! I hope you are doing well. I want to let you know you are not alone in your thoughts. I’ve been with Leo for 10 years and children and let me tell you, it’s hard! I had to quit my job that I was working for 10 years to become a stay at home mom because childcare is too expensive and I wasn’t a fan of a stranger watching my kids. Before, I never really put much thought in to the fact that my husband was switching shifts every year but not with kids it totally changes everything. I feel like my wants and needs are put on a back burner because of his schedule. It’s been a struggle however we are pulling through as best that we can. But it won’t ever get easier. No matter what shift he’s on, his mind is always on cop mode. We can’t wven have a simple family outing without his internal radar going off about everyone else who is at the same place that we are. I wish I could tell you that it gets better but only you know deep down how you want your future to be. Because yes it was his decision to be a police officer but it’s also your decision to choose what makes you happy.

Hi, thank you so much for your reply- it really means a lot.

You must be a real tough cookie to make those sacrifices, I hope your OH has a real appreciation for you in your marriage partnership!
I guess the police role is put on a pedestal and you find yourself further down the priority list as time goes on...
That is definitely something I am wary of- police officers are never off duty, so I think it will be tough to see this change in him.

I'm doing okay at the moment, as I have some distraction around me and have started already to build up more of a social life. I still have down days- it's as though I 're-remember' again. I'm so grateful for your honesty, as it's becoming clearer to me that I also need to be a bit 'selfish' as he perhaps is... (for want of a better word)
In recent conversations I have mentioned to OH that children will now be put on the back burner, as the shifts just don't work for me there.
Just got to 'go with the flow'..!

Hey! I forgot about this site for a bit but I hope you are doing well. I’m running in to a dilemma over here. Recently it seems that all my husband wants to do when he is not working is to hang out with the 2 people on his shift and or text them all day when he’s suppose to be off work. It’s like he can’t seperate from them and my kids and I aren’t as exciting as his police friends. Do you have any advice on how to refocus his attention to the family direction rather than be distracted by his friends 24/7? My biggest fear is because they both are single/divorced and when he hangs out with them I feel like he is having that mindset that they have a better lifestyle and freedom that he doesn’t have. It’s a very touchy subject here. Any thoughts would be appreciated