Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
Hey ladies,
Even though I'm out of the relationship with my alcoholic, I still share a child with him who he's pretty much abandoned. Every once in awhile though, I'll get a text from that a$$hole sperm donor, and it reminds me how I had a baby with a sociopathic and malignant narcissist. Sometimes I research Narcissistic Personality Disorder instead of alcoholism because it seems even more descriptive of my ex. Seeing the facts helps ground me in truth when my emotions and loneliness want to fly me away to a bad and useless space. I know this information can help most of you. Seriously. Give it a gander.
Here are 40 signs that I can rattle off the top of my head that your AH is a narcissist:
They violate boundaries with verbal, emotional, physical, etc. abuse
They interrupt conversations and start talking about themselves
They will take a trauma you're dealing with and make it about them
They're manipulative
They act a different way in public than when they're in private
They would implode if they found out you're detaching and no longer worshipping them
They break their promises constantly
They borrow money without returning it
They think they're entitled
They're insecure
When they argue with you, they dissect your words so you can never address their bad behavior
They never take responsibility for their behavior
They are always the victim
They blame everyone else
They have no relationships, friends or otherwise
They have had tumultuous breakups for “inexplicable” reasons in the past
They are charmers
They think way too highly of themselves
They have an exaggerated sense of self worth and think they are contributors to society
They victimize you and keep coming back so you can never heal
They lie, a lot
They believe their own lies
When they argue with you, they keep belaboring the same points over and over again
They try to make you feel like you're the crazy one (see:gaslighting)
They seem to be stuck in time
They want to keep you insecure and off-balanced so you're easier to control and abuse
They resent the success of others
They can be grandiose or shy (don't put them in a box)
They can't handle criticism
If they went to therapy, it would only be to manipulate the therapist into thinking they are not the problem
They cheat, but accuse you of it
They project their feelings of inadequacy on you (“you only care about money and despise how little I make!”)
If you do something they don't like they take it personally as if you were out to get them
You feel like you have to flatter them or blow smoke up their a$$ just so they won't get upset with you
They like it when you fail or are hurting
They make a great first impression. In fact, you may have fallen in love quite quickly
They are an empty shell of a person who really has no substance to back them up
They lack empathy
They're incapable of being in someone else's shoes
They sulk like children and play the martyr
Here's just one interesting article about how to recover from these types of people:
https://relationshipedia.me/2015/07/02/11-mental-tips-tricks-to-move-on-after-narcissistic-abuse
Even though I'm out of the relationship with my alcoholic, I still share a child with him who he's pretty much abandoned. Every once in awhile though, I'll get a text from that a$$hole sperm donor, and it reminds me how I had a baby with a sociopathic and malignant narcissist. Sometimes I research Narcissistic Personality Disorder instead of alcoholism because it seems even more descriptive of my ex. Seeing the facts helps ground me in truth when my emotions and loneliness want to fly me away to a bad and useless space. I know this information can help most of you. Seriously. Give it a gander.
Here are 40 signs that I can rattle off the top of my head that your AH is a narcissist:
They violate boundaries with verbal, emotional, physical, etc. abuse
They interrupt conversations and start talking about themselves
They will take a trauma you're dealing with and make it about them
They're manipulative
They act a different way in public than when they're in private
They would implode if they found out you're detaching and no longer worshipping them
They break their promises constantly
They borrow money without returning it
They think they're entitled
They're insecure
When they argue with you, they dissect your words so you can never address their bad behavior
They never take responsibility for their behavior
They are always the victim
They blame everyone else
They have no relationships, friends or otherwise
They have had tumultuous breakups for “inexplicable” reasons in the past
They are charmers
They think way too highly of themselves
They have an exaggerated sense of self worth and think they are contributors to society
They victimize you and keep coming back so you can never heal
They lie, a lot
They believe their own lies
When they argue with you, they keep belaboring the same points over and over again
They try to make you feel like you're the crazy one (see:gaslighting)
They seem to be stuck in time
They want to keep you insecure and off-balanced so you're easier to control and abuse
They resent the success of others
They can be grandiose or shy (don't put them in a box)
They can't handle criticism
If they went to therapy, it would only be to manipulate the therapist into thinking they are not the problem
They cheat, but accuse you of it
They project their feelings of inadequacy on you (“you only care about money and despise how little I make!”)
If you do something they don't like they take it personally as if you were out to get them
You feel like you have to flatter them or blow smoke up their a$$ just so they won't get upset with you
They like it when you fail or are hurting
They make a great first impression. In fact, you may have fallen in love quite quickly
They are an empty shell of a person who really has no substance to back them up
They lack empathy
They're incapable of being in someone else's shoes
They sulk like children and play the martyr
Here's just one interesting article about how to recover from these types of people:
https://relationshipedia.me/2015/07/02/11-mental-tips-tricks-to-move-on-after-narcissistic-abuse
AND my employer!
So fun.