how much is enough? So after a really rough last week when I asked my son to come over AH has remained sober but giving me the silent treatment, " sick " (symptoms which equal alcohol/ drug withdrawl ) goes to sleep around 5 pm each night. Now we are moving in two weeks or so and there is lots to be done. Only towards the end of last week did he start helping while " sick" and I'm at work. By the weekend he's over it ( kind of ) we have a moving sale and work our asses off . He brings me flowers. But that was yesterday.

today I drive up the driveway after work and see him in the garage on the tippy top rung of the ladder pulling paint cans out of the loft storage, I walk over and say " let me help you " and he hands me two cans but I can tell right away he is in a major alcoholic temper tantrum. I take a breath, go inside, put down my things, take another breath and go back to the garage as if it's all okay because I'm afraid he will get hurt. You guessed it he is throwing things down ( not really at me but I'm there). Loses his balance and falls six feet onto his head. It ricocheted three times. I could hear it! I'm a RN I say to myself " that's a concussion!" I quick check him out and there's a spreading puddle Of blood under his head, and he can't really sit up.  So I run inside get the phone and a towel, sit on the floor try to put pressure on the wound and call 911. All the while he is combative and pushing me away. Of course he is nice when cops and first responders come. So off to ER . I follow a bit later, calling my son to meet me there. He has a crazy concussion, stapled head and is his usual dicky self to me so I sit out in the waiting room. Son comes... same treatment.  So I check with his nurse who says it will be several more hours as he's in X-ray. So I go home , 3 miles, to feed dogs ,go to the bathroom and eat something. Nurse says to call in two hours . So I get home take out trash blah blah blah and as I'm calling to check in before I drive back over..... in he walks - took a cab and in full fight mode. I don't take the bait, he pushes and pushes. Finally I'm like WTF? Turns out same old drunken story  , he's sick of my shit, ah here it comes: last week I cancelled dinner plans because he was drunk .... he wanted to go and didn't care if he was drunk in front of MY friends! And then when that temper tantrum was just too much for me I asked my son to come over..... my son has also had enough. And did the unforgivable: yelled at the drunk guy who was " sick and sleeping!!! Things are getting worse . I think now , when he gets to drinking, he just obsesses about how much of an idiot I am. Actually he's sick of me not loving his drunken shit.

I didn't care to get into it with a post head trauma patient,  but I stated my boundaries clearly. " drink yourself to death, but stay away from me. When drunk, if at all possible be civil. And if you are unhappy that I talk to an on line support group- F*** you. And if you are unhappy that I'm in touch with alanon - F*** you.  And if  you don't think your grown sons KNOW you are an alcoholic  who is getting worse and worse. F*** you! At this time he is mimicking me, usually a sign of his stupidity. He tells me his usual " I don't give a shit"   Well guess what? Tonight I realized, neither do I.

Sadly, even as I watched him fall, sustain head trauma ,bleed, get taken away in an ambulance, then sat in an ER for 2 hours. .. not once did I worry about the outcome. All I could do was to wonder when he will have enough? But it is too late for him. What a waste.

PS I think he was rattled that I didn't hang around at the hospital, I've never left like that before. Oh well .....