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Why does it upset me so much?

GuitarGirl2112
GuitarGirl2112
When my AH drinks even just one drink I get really upset and I don't know why. He isn't horrible when he's drinking and he isn't physically abusive. When he is sober he is emotionally abusive, but not much when he's drinking. He's really just a blob on the couch when he's drinking, unless we're at his parents then he is an arrogant jerk. But why if he drinks just one does it bother me so much? Is it normal? He tries to make me think that I'm crazy or too sensitive. I can't help my feelings.
yw249
yw249
It's good that he's not a mean drunk. But when you mentioned that he gets emotionally abusive when he's sober, it makes me wonder if he is craving alcohol and getting irritable. Maybe that's what upsets you- you know that he needs the drink to be pleasant. It's interesting that he is a jerk around his parents. I wonder how his father treated his mother growing up? Maybe he is "showing off" by being a jerk. If you're like me, you get upset because you know he won't stop with just one drink. Stay strong. You are not crazy or too sensitive for feeling this way.
naezer
naezer
Hi GuitarGirl - I'm with yw249 - you're anticipating what is to come. The continuous drinking. The inability to control their behavior or even anticipate what will happen. Your nerves are going up because you are sensitive - and that's not a bad thing. It means that you still have your gut check. And that's a good thing. Keep it and trust it - it doesn't lie (an AH on the other hand - likely to lie - LOL).

Remember, our AH's want us to feel guilt, blame, shame, anything so the attention is off of them and onto us. Making us feel like it's our fault, that we're in the wrong. Just remember, we're not.