I just don't understand the control alcohol has over my husband! Why even bother seeing a doctor and paying hundreds of dollars for medicine and testing if your going to continue to put that poison in your body. I always tease that my AH of 32 yrs has drank so much that he's pickled his insides... His last upper GI they found some pre cancer and he went Friday for an ablasion, I tried scaring him by reading the hand outs from the doctor for what to expect. We'll that didn't work, the doctor had prescribed a GI cocktail to take if needed to numb his throat if he was feeling pain. I guess he discover this would help with pain as he drank just hours after the procedure and continued to drink all weekend. Luckily I went out of town for the weekend so I didn't have to see the stupididy! 

It just blows my mind! For someone that doesn't believe in wasting money he sure does waste a fortune on the damage that his life choice has done to his body. 

On a happier note, I'm trying to make a life for myself. I don't engage anymore in arguments that make me feel like i'm the problem and I caused this, I don't cry every single time he hurts my feelings and I don't ask him to do any with me or for me, I don't ask for permission to have fun. I'm learning who I am and what makes me happy and its deffinitly not this life that i've been living. We are over after 32 yrs we only live together until I can make a life finacially for me and my 2 teens grandaughthers that we adopted. His choose his addiction over me and his family now i'm choosing happiness!