My husband came over to my apartment tonight, to help me with something computer related. I didn't even tell him that I was having the problem...he heard from someone else, after I asked them for help. He texted me and asked if I was still having the problem and asked if I would like some "Old man tech support" (reference to the fact that he is quite a bit older than I am, plus the fact that he was always my computer repairman when we were lived together). I told him that I could probably figure out, he got upset and said "Whatever". Well, hours later, I still couldn't figure it out, none of my friends were helpful either since no one is technologically inclined within my circle. I texted him, and asked for assistance. He tried to trouble-shoot via text, finally told me that he couldn't and needed to look at it.

My husband and I officially broke things off several weeks ago. There is no reconciliation in the horizon, I'm accepting that and moving on. Either way, I was very uncomfortable with the idea of him coming to my apartment tonight, especially with the kids home (they aren't biologically his). I sent the kids to their grandmother's house and agreed to let my husband come over to help.

My husband got here, and immediately started working on the computer. He barely spoke to me, was very matter-of-fact and business-like. I breathed a sigh of relief that he didn't want to talk my ear off. Casual conversation is very, very difficult for me right now. I'm still heartbroken, angry, resentful...filled with a lot of emotions.

After my husband was done, he stood up, turned around, said he needed to go, and asked me for a hug! Huh?!?! Wow...that took me by surprise! I walked over and gave him one. He then tried to kiss me and I pulled away. My husband told me that he missed me, that he missed sleeping next to me, that he needed some "adult time". Again, HUH? I asked him to leave and he acted shocked that I asked him to! Needless to say, the feeling in the air changed dramatically and he left pretty quickly.

Oddly enough, I feel so strong right now. I love this man...love him from the bottom of my heart. I miss him. Miss his smell, the feeling of my hand in his...everything about him...then I start to remember why we left and I am glad that I told him to leave.