Amen! It took me a long time to figure this out, He can't stand it but after 32 years its my time to live. ;)

Mine had to quit drinking because his liver is shot. Now he wants me to watch tv with him all night and he knows I hate the old chair that I have to sit in out there. I spend all my time in my room on my bed with my two large dogs, blasting my heavy metal and uploading designs to the tshirt sites I sell things on.

When I was a kid, I was fascinated with album covers and wanted to grow up and be a graphic designer. I did become a graphic designer and worked in the boring auto industry for over 20 years doing boring manufacturing manuals for the dealers. Made decent money but hated "cube land" and office politics. Now I create my own designs and people actually buy them on tshirts, mugs, pillows, etc. It's so cool that I get people from Japan or Australia buying my designs to wear or put stickers on their bumpers. I make about $300 a month now which to me is amazing. My stupid AH couldn't care less and offers me no encouragement or he ignores my pride and excitement when I tell him I just sold a wall tapestry of one of my Led Zeppelin designs and my cut of the profit was $50.00.

He also hated when I got my degree a few years ago and was busy doing projects and not paying attention to his drunk ass. It's time we lived OUR LIVES and find joy where we can. We certainly cannot depend on them.

Good for you for standing your ground, I am at 32 years too and I've just had it with him. Next step is to lose this depression weight and get my confidence back. The thing that sucks is because I am his wife I have to be his caretaker and nurse now that his body is shot. When he was in the hospital for a week to detox I had the best time at home. I watched what I wanted, I played with the dogs and let them bark all they wanted. I sang at the top of my lungs and just had a good time.

When he was in the hospital he still had access to his phone and would call me all hours of the night to say "hi" and usually when I want to talk to him on the phone he says he hates talking on phones and will never chat with me. So I said fuck it, called his night nurse and told her to take his phone away from him to stop him from calling me. HA HA HA fuck you buddy!

another note: AH was admitted into the hospital tonight for breathing problems and I have THE WHOLE HOUSE TO MYSELF! I wish I could invite all of you ladies over!!!! We would have a great time and a lot of laughs.

I really wish we could! I would love to share our stories together and have a group of friends that really get it. I tried al-anon but I just wanted to stand up and say how I truly felt without being told to reach out to a higher power and detach with love.......erm if I knew how to do that I wouldn't of married him in the 1st place!!
I want a place us partners can go, sit around, share stories, laugh until our bellies hurt and be angry with people that get it!!
Hope you got to enjoy some quiet time x

good for you - you are valuable and deserve peace and happiness. enjoy those moments, they are soul boosting.

yeah after initial anger wear off, it is good from a place of happiness and a better life, to find compassion, but that's a stage of healing you will get there, when youre able to detatch i am learning it now, i have been , but its so hard when its in my face how terrified i feel doesn't matter one bit to him , not as much as his high. Its something i hope i never do to another human being scare them with my behavior and get mad at them for not liking it and wanting to experience it again and again and again....he just tells me "don't worry about it nothing is gonna happen..or it only happens cause you focus on it and expect it, youre willing the fighting to happen: yeaaaaaaah..im so missing all that!!