Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

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AftonGirl 09/16/2018

I have been married to an alcoholic for almost 19 years and I'm fed up. We were camping this weekend but of course he proceeded to stay drunk the entire time. We got into a spat. He started calling me nasty names and told me if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have anything. So I called him some names, in a calm voice (surprisingly) and said I'm going home. I am not staying here tonight with your stinky drunk, smelly butt and I refuse to be treated this way. I'm just done. So, I put my dog in the truck and I came home. I left his sorry butt in the RV. It was SO nice to be home to the quiet and not have to smell him, deal with him. I don't care anymore what happens to him. I can't take care of him, I'm tired of trying to help him if he isn't going to help himself. And to top it off, when I got home and got online to check my emails and read the news, porn sites popped up. What the heck? So I guess now he's getting drunk and sitting on the computer to all hours looking at porn. I'm at a loss with of of this.

Is it wrong of me to have no feelings at all? To just not care? I am numb...not feelings at all.

sevier 09/17/2018

It sounds like you are at the end of your rope and that is totally understandable! This can be such an exhausting life! Hang in there and vent it out here as much as you need to ❤️

Godsplan 09/18/2018

I feel the same about my husband. I don’t care to have anything to do with him when he is drunk. I’ve made that very clear.

I don’t want to sleep next to him because he smells. I don’t want any reminder of that life he chooses to live.

He used to watch porn but has stopped, at least for now.

I have to remind myself it’s a disease because it seems absolutely crazy when I look at it through my rationale.

Recently, I decided that he has to talk to a therapist. I said it in the most loving way possible because I can’t help him. He’s open to that and I know he will feel better once he tries it.
I can only imagine how lonely it must be for him to be in that dark struggle. He doesn’t like AA.

Peace to you. We still have to protect our sanity in the process.

Alexandra77 09/21/2018

Yes protecting yourself and enjoying things you enjoy are key. So go out with the girls. Have fun. Communicate regularly with them so when he’s drunk the fun memories with your friends can bring a smile even a little giggle to yourself to remind you what is normal!

2Irish 09/25/2018

setting boundaries for yourself is very important! good for you to recognize that you are important and should never be treated that way then leaving the verbally abusive situation.
the viewing of porn may be due to the disease of alcoholism compiled with age will cause impotence.
socializing with your close friends will certainly help you rebuild your energy instead of having it continually drained.

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