Hi friends, this week I’ve been depressed.  My AH has been struggling to stay sober for a while.  We’ve been here before though.  This same cycle where he loves me and can’t live without me and so thankful I’m in his life, to being unsure about our marriage and being unhappy.  This is where we’re at now.  He’s unhappy.  I’m so confused where I fit in which is why I become depressed from time to time.  There’s no stability in our marriage. I’m constantly going from bliss to thinking I should save money up for my escape.  It’s crazy.  I’ve realized I have PTSD from dealing with my AH mood for the past decade.  I don’t want to talk to him about it because he’ll throw it in my face or use it against me when he’s drinking.  So now what.  I’m feel so alone.